Why is he acting this way!? HELP!

So my ex broke up with me about 3 months ago. And it was out of nowhere. NO ONE saw it coming, not his friends, nor his family and certainly not me. Two weeks before it happened we were at a party and he grabbed me and told me how sometimes when he looks at me he can't believe I'm with him because I'm so gorgeous and yadda yadda. Like head over heels for me.

A week prior, at another party, and I must have said something to charm a group of his friends and his friend said " You marry this girl" He replied "ok" with a huge smile and kissed me on the forehead.

Then the breakup happened. A four and a half hour convo of him crying on MY shoulder. The only reasoning I was given was that he wants to tell me he loves me but doesn't know why he can't get there. The rest of it was him telling me how much he cares for me and likes me and says " It will be hard when you're looking hot at a bar and I can't keep my hands off you"

A week later he texts me saying " You know you can call me anytime. I'm here if you want/need to talk"

1.5 weeks after this we ran into each other on St. Patty's day. I was prepared to say my "Hi, how are you's. but he wouldn't even acknowledge me. He couldn't stand less than 8 ft away from me.

Told a mutual friend later that his reasoning for this is because with him being drunk he saw himself having 3 options.

#1- knock out any guy who would be talking/flirting with me

#2- talk to me end up sleeping with me and giving me the wrong idea

or #3- ignore me.

One month after this happened. We were both at a mutual friend's birthday. Again he couldn't even say "Hi". A friend to both of us went up to him and told him to say hi to me. he repeated said he couldn't. he couldn't bring himself to do it. Our friend now getting frustrated with him said "ITS NOT HARD SHES RIGHT THERE" he said "I'm sorry I can't do it. It makes me feel nauseous." and ended up walking away from her saying " I'm sorry I can't"

There's a wedding of (yet another) mutual friend and he's acting like I broke up with him and like he doesn't want to see me there. He spoke to me for the first time since the breakup and told me for 20 mins how I should be there and why I should go and that him and I both know I should go and blah blah. As I was telling him I'm really not sure if I should.

He's starting to make me feel like I dumped him!?

Ever since the breakup I gave him his space. I didn't call or text him. I gave him his space and I took mine. But now it's time to clear the air with him..but I can't when I have no idea what is going on with him!

What the heck is going on here? Can someone please help?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • okay. it sounds to me that this guy got reallllllly insecure all of a sudden about something. you should ask yourself... did you give him the same amount of attention that he gave you? did you let him know that you were "obsessed" with him the way he was with u? because if you didnt.. and you played it all cool, then he could have driven himself to paranoia and decided that he loves you but maybe is not sure you love him back. He obviously couldn't handle you and became extremely insecure and paranoid around you. I think when he broke up with you, it was all out of emotional rashness. And he expected you to grab hold of him or reassure him that you love him too. But you gave him his space. So, he didn't get what he wanted from you. So now, I think he's trying to get some kind of closure for himself. I don't know... guys are SO weird. Do you mind reading my post? and helping me out too? PLEASE. I need it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • its clear that he has no idea what he wants. I think it would be best it ignore him and move on. you need to look for someone who knows what they want instead of thinking of a guy that's completely clueless.

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    • I am in same state-he liked me a lot, then break up with me, then few texts-how are you? everything ok?-meet few times and finally he stop talking to me.so, I think you just ignore him. if he wants-he will find you. or you can ask straight.

What Girls Said 2

  • it seems really complicated.

    but it seems like his problem more than urs.

    when he's in a state where you can talk to him, you should. but it seems like, he's complicated by his own emotions. doesn't seem like anything that you can do, you could ask his friends to give some insight and see why he's stuck and acting weird.

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  • Honestly it sounds like he feels really guilty for breaking up with you, knows he lost out on something really great, and can't accept the blame for that. So he's trying to convince himself and everyone around you that it was somehow your fault. Nothing you can do except confront him and ask him what's going on. Being straightforward is the only way to have a chance to know what's really going on.

    Best of luck to you... people are so dumb in breakups

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