How to convince him that we have a future together?

My (ex) boyfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for 3 years. He wanted to live together, get married and have children with me, so there were no commitment-issues on his side. On my side, however, there were some doubts and I wasn't moving as fast in our relationship as he was, also: we were growing apart due to some personal issues and issues with his family. Two weeks ago we both decided to break up since we no longer had a loving, affectionate relationship. Mostly because he was too busy with other stuff and I no longer felt a priority to him, causing frustrations and bitterness on my side.

Although I felt it was the best decision at the moment, I miss him terribly and I think we can resolve our issues. Mainly because breaking up caused me to gain a new perspective on things and I'm able to let go of all my frustrations and bitterness. I really feel that the break up could improve our (future) relationship and we can actually have a more loving and better relationship than before. He, however, is not sure whether we can make it work. At first he felt that we're over and there's no hope for the future, now he does feel that maybe we'll have a chance of getting back together. However: he needs to sort things out and wants to focus on what he wants, as a lot of stuff is going on in his life at the moment. He does want to continue to see me on a, more or less, weekly basis. I'll meet him for drinks upcoming Saturday to have, again, a talk on whether we can improve our relationship and thus get back together. He still loves me and he still cares for me, but he's not sure whether we have a future together because of some differences and issues, which I believe can be resolved.

I really want to get back together, but I'm super anxious he'll give up on us. Is there anything I can do to change his mind and 'win' him back again (without coming across as needy or desperate)?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's over permanently and completely and you will not reconcile and ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after nor will you remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. You blew it.

    • Well, that's what I thought at first, but now he's changed his mind to 'maybe we will have a chance of getting back together'. Hence I'm curious about what to do/say upcoming Saturday.

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    • im going to guess because you have been on this site for a long time and spend 4 times as many hours per day on here then most others.

    • I wouldn't equate stats from a website as being a good indication that you are good at giving advice. In done provin gym point. Good luck and God bless

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