I miss my ex of 2 and a half years, been NC for two months. How do I get over him?

Me and my ex were together over two years, we had some really good times together, and then he moved abroad for a year, we tried to keep things going but I had to break it off. It was far too hard and such a strain on the relationship, i was more upset than I was happy throughout this time, and safe to say it broke my heart, I really loved him.
He was my first love and I just can't see myself getting over him, I really am starting to just want him back in my life. It crushes me because I know he probably doesn't want me back, he wants to travel after he graduates and I'm happy for him, I just wish I was in the picture. I feel silly feeling like this but I'm just going through a hard time trying to get him out of my head. I've been okay these past few months and I sorta felt relieved initially as there was no more upset and tears from being apart from each other constantly, but this past week it's been non stop on my mind about him, I don't know why. He's home in September and I really want to give it another shot but he won't.

How long does does it take to get over someone, especially your first love? And how can I stop myself from getting so upset because I know that's the end of us now, I wish it wasn't but I've just had to accept it is.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • read this:
    I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I feel you, my ex and I were together for 3 years. It took me about 2 years and a lot of "not seeing her" on any media to get over her. You'll know one day. One day you'll meet someone new that you never thought you'd like because you're not over your ex, but you'll like him. And you'll know. Hang in there, you'll be fine.

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    • Thanks very much! Always helps when advice comes from someone in the same situation. It's just so hard, when he's home in September I hope I'm over him by then because there's more of a chance of me bumping into him.

    • It's really hard I'm not gonna lie. Especially the places I regularly go to are the same when we were together. It's just so much memories. But you just realize really, that life goes on. But I really advise you to decide if you want to be with him again or you just miss him. If you don't, don't see him, cause there might be a backslide (getting back together or smth like that).

      How I did things? Everytime I see her at a party or at a pubic place, I just leave. It still leaves me feeling like shit but in the long run, it helps.

  • man this is a harg one cause you guys really didn't end on bad terms it was just the distance. now your having the what ifs and doubts. all i can tell you is it will take time or just ask and see how he feels about you

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    • I know, the distance was just too much and it wasn't fair on either of us to carry on because we weren't happy. I actually ended up emailing him as we don't have each other on any social media, basically told him I'll always care for him. He said the same too but that he's still the person who wants to travel - it crushed me a bit but I'm glad to know that there's no point wondering what if now, we tried multiple times to make it work and it just didn't sadly. I suppose I'll always love him but it's just not meant to be.

    • yeah i am so sorry to hear this

  • you sound like you need a new experience. you will always care for him but he's an ex for a reason. join a club or volunteer. mix up your circle and life will reward you. one day at a time. you deserve to be happy , give yourself a chance

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