How can I stop moping over this guy not wanting a relationship with me and start loving myself enough to pursue someone better?

So in nutshell, I was seeing this guy maybe two years ago. Nothing ever came out of it, but we became good friends, then friends with benefits. I ended up getting attached and wanting a relationship while he on the other hand didn't. He even lied to me about talking to other girls so he wouldn't hurt me. I was pissed to say the least and didn't speak to him for a few months. When we reconnected and tried to be friends again, he told me he got a girlfriend (right after telling me he didn't want a commitment) and I blew up at him. I've spoken to him since and though we've both apologized to each other and we're at peace, there is no longer a friendship. I still see him at school from time to time and he has a new girlfriend. I don't see it lasting long, but it still pisses me off to see them together. How do I get past these feelings of envy, self-hatred, and anger? It's been two years since he first took interest in me and I know I don't want to be with him, I think it's the rejection that hurts my ego if anything. What can I do to wish them the best and carry on with my own life and pursue better things?


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  • It is very likely that it hurt your ego, in the why was he willing to commit to her but not you.

    Not the exact situation, but there was an ex I cared a lot about, he was the first boyfriend that I actually really really liked, I was crazy about him, it was long distance. And then I realized, that he doesn't make time for me, work was always more important to him, even if all I was asking for was a video call on Skype on the weekend, he would forget or end up working. At some point, I figured that perhaps I wasn't the one for him and broke up with him. About two years later, I see pictures of him on facebook taking a vacation in China with his girlfriend. He, who couldn't manage to take time off during Christmas to visit his family and then swing by and visit me, managed to take time off solely for his new girlfriend. I missed him, I felt really sad, but what helped me was when I realized that it was true, it isn't me it was him. I cared, I put in time and effort, made our relationship a priority, but he didn't. I wasn't lacking, but he was lacking in affection for me, he cared for me but not enough to ever visit me or video chat with me. I realized I was simply not "the one" for him, but I am "the one" for someone, and I needed to get over him and find that someone.

    Realize that you did all you could, you were simply not "the one" for him, but you are "the one" for someone else, and you need to find that someone else. And if you were not the one for him, then he isn't the one for you either, you deserve better, you deserve someone who cares about you deeply.

  • Accept that it happened. Accept your choices. Learn from the situation.

    Like this guy screwed you over pretty much every way possible. You don't need that in your life. Leave him to the other girls and get him out of your life. Then take all the energy you've been focusing on him and focus on improving yourself.


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