im not angry and i dont hate him, im so sad though. we agreed to stay friends and we even sat at the same lunch table today, the day after we broke up. but its all these small things that are gone. there's no one to hold my hand, we would wait for each other at the school exit before leaving but i walked slow enough today to see him leave without me and I didn't think he would wait but it hurt so much to know he's gone. we broke up because he is depressed and not in a place to be in a relationship and needs to work on himself and he says the door isn't closed if he gets better but i just want this heartbreak to end. he took a lot of my firsts away from me, first kiss first whatever and i feel lost now. i really dont know how to handle myself. i keep thinking about how he won't love me like before, and i still love him. im sorry for this long rambling im just so lost. i think about how im alone now and i have to walk by myself. how i wony be able to feel his arm around me anymore or hold his hand, or walk with him. i want to go back to how i was before we dated, when i wasn't lonely without him and i could drift along without issue. when i want heartbroken and thinking about him. i feel a hallow and i want it to stop.