What to do after a break up?

im not angry and i dont hate him, im so sad though. we agreed to stay friends and we even sat at the same lunch table today, the day after we broke up. but its all these small things that are gone. there's no one to hold my hand, we would wait for each other at the school exit before leaving but i walked slow enough today to see him leave without me and I didn't think he would wait but it hurt so much to know he's gone. we broke up because he is depressed and not in a place to be in a relationship and needs to work on himself and he says the door isn't closed if he gets better but i just want this heartbreak to end. he took a lot of my firsts away from me, first kiss first whatever and i feel lost now. i really dont know how to handle myself. i keep thinking about how he won't love me like before, and i still love him. im sorry for this long rambling im just so lost. i think about how im alone now and i have to walk by myself. how i wony be able to feel his arm around me anymore or hold his hand, or walk with him. i want to go back to how i was before we dated, when i wasn't lonely without him and i could drift along without issue. when i want heartbroken and thinking about him. i feel a hallow and i want it to stop.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You've learned a hard but valuable lesson. You will not remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. Don't ever say "let's be friends" or agree to it because it won't happen. It's just how it is in the real world of dating. Once broken up get on with your life and never look back and never take an ex back

    • he was the one saying to be friends

    • Show All
    • thank you

    • Yes 99% of the time reconciliation doesn't last. Then you've wasted more time in a relationship that had no hope from the begining and that valuable time could've been spent finding Mr Right

Most Helpful Girl

  • Think of it this way, you guys broke up because there were things you couldn't fix. But, the worst thing you can do for yourself is pretend everything is ok and wait for him to potentially love you. Because if you continue to have feelings for him and he find someone new, that would hurt you a lot. Please focus on yourself, take time away from him, discover and build yourself, then just maybe if you fully healed without the notion of "being gf/bf" again, you can be friends or something more. Let go that you guys will be together again, because in reality if he doesn't want you, but wants to be your friend and strings you along as if nothing happened, I'm sorry he doesn't have your interest at heart. If he truly love you, he would let that go and let you heal on your own and you would too. Clearly, hanging out with him gives you stress, it hurts you and ask yourself this, is this what you want? does his interaction with you get you anywhere? Time and space will heal you, and it will suck, but that's what you need to do. That is your priority. Put as much interest in him as he does with you, and I promise you things will get better <3 Good luck! By the way, my first love was like that, except he was toxic. He wanted to be friends, but I told him that if that was the case I need to let go of the notion of us in general and maybe I could be. It helped a lot because I realized we were no longer together and that we might not even have a friendship, it got rid of a ton of strings of "Oh we can be friends and maybe more" or "This breakup isn't bad because I'm not losing a best friend". I want you to focus on yourself, not him, not anyone. Heal, cry and do all the things that will help (Don't do drastic and temporary pain relievers please). You are a beautiful, smart and strong woman. You'll get through this!


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