Trying to get over an ex that moved on?

My dilema: Like I want to get over her and even thinking of her. She has a new boyfriend. It's been 2 months. I don't even want to get back with her. In class, I kind of find it hard to focus and I think of her a bit. Mostly, I am just overthinking. Things like will we be friends, should I text her. Again i don't want to get back with her. I just want to move on, but at the same time i feel like texting her. I have way more to worry about and I just want to be happy and focus on my studies, career, and myself


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What Girls Said 2

  • Breakups are hard, and it's normal that you have the urge to text her. But, think of it this way. The way you're describing the scenario makes it seem that you, yourself are still hurt and cannot focus due to a wandering mind. If you were to text her, what would that purpose be? Would that hurt you and if so, why would we do it? I have a philosophy in life, sometimes we have to do the things we hate, but if we do it for a cause/purpose then it's worth fighting for. If talking to her does nothing, clearly when she DID NOT put investment in you (The new bf) and the fact that you're still hurt, then I'm sorry what are you truly accomplishing? Let's face it, the relationship is over and you yourself need to move on.
    It's great that you have your priorities straight and know what you want to achieve. The best way to focus on work is to take one step at a time, have a goal everyday and be proud of achieving that goal, even if that goal was simple as starting your work or exercising. After breakups most people dwell on the past, I do as well, because we're disappointed that this person didn't turn out to be our life's companion. And that's perfectly alright. That's normal, because breakups happen for a reason. And the best way to heal is to accept the pain that is associated with a breakup and understand that it's normal and perfectly healthy to feel this pain. We should use it for the better version of ourselves, re-build confidence, learn from our mistakes and grow. Be proud of the little things you do and through time you'll move on and stop worrying about this individual. The pain is only temporary. I'm sure she was a great girlfriend to you, and even if she wasn't I'm sure you had amazing memories with her. Take all those amazing memories and realize that there are plenty of more ladies who can reignite passion and give you love once more. Love isn't dead, be excited for the world, love yourself and if anything she doesn't deserve to know how you feel so focus on yourself. I know it's hard and I struggle with that all the time, but be proud and build yourself, motivate yourself and eventually, you'll be the best possible version of you. Good luck.

  • The only way, is by giving it time and by focusing on other things (you already mentioned what you want to focus on). Find ways to relax your mind. Meditating and breathing exercises helps me.

    • Yeh. That's the hard part. I want to focus on other things, but i find it hard to. But I'll try relaxing my mind. Thanks

    • You're welcome and good luck. Relaxation is important. Maybe exercise works too. Find something that suits you.

What Guys Said 1

  • Dude exactly what you're going through I went through my ex left me and a month after she had a new guy it sucks especially if you really loved the girl but you had to focus on your self on your goals and ambition it's sounds easy but it won't be believe me I recently went through that 3 months backs and by you texting her you are giving her power over you and it'll make her feel superior and after your going to feel bad about your self so don do it


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