Her: age 18
Her ex: age 22
So I met this girl through work, really suddenly.. we ended up going to the same school, and we hit it off really well while she was still together with this guy. they had been together for 3 years before I came around and she was saying how they were having a lot of problems, she ended up breaking up with him and waited roughly a month before finally we started dating... about 2 and a half months pass and while I know it would be hard for her to get over this guy she was with for three years, and she jumped into the relationship with me kind of quickly after such a long one... and so I was a little skeptical at first and kinda tried not to bug her about it too much in the start(even though I later found out they were talking every day during the first few weeks that we were dating, until his phone got turned off) but as more time passed I tried really hard not to ask about him at all. she still like talks about something he did and such but nothing too huge... but its to be expected since she was with him for three years. so more time passes and she eventually (though maybe a bit early) says she loves me and while I feel the same way if not more about her I still know she is talking to him through a friend of his that uses another phone. and I worry about it.. because she has told me that when he talks to her he try's to guilt trip her in every way possible as I understand from what she tells me he says, things like; oh I'm leaving to go to Mexico and other things in that manor. and me having done this in the past for someone I still wanted, knows that he would try anything for the one he wants.. so automatically I don't trust and want her talking to him and I wanna know if that's bad or if I should be more understanding... or what. and she often avoids talking about the subject of him at all when I ask her things about it though its not often... I'm kind of offended that she doesn't tell me strait up. and she has not confirmed that she told him that she is with me yet, only that she sees me and talks to me. so what should I do? because though I try to not think about it much... it still bugs me a lot and hurts me to know, and yes I have told her that I don't like it and that it hurts me... and her only response usually is "i know..."
Most Helpful Girl
I think me and my boyfriend are in teh same problem. I still talk to my ex. I was in love with him so bad, but I love my current boyfriend waaaaaay more, like way way way more! lol. The thing is though, I still get the urge to talk to my ex, I like talking to him, I don't have any feelings for him but there will always be that something there that will stop me from deleting him from Facebook or deleting his number. We broke up 2 years ago now. I have been with mike for a year and a bit. He knows I still talk to my ex and I know how much it hurts him so I prefer to not let him know I'm doing it or talk about him. Perhaps your girlfriend feels the same way? What you need to do ask her straight out if she still wants to be with him. tell her you don't care what her answer is, you just need to know the truth before things get even deeper and one of you gets badly hurt. You don't want to suddenly find out you were the rebound guy. Don't try and tell her not to speak to him because this never works, it just pushes us further away and it causes arguments which may encourage us to look elswhere for positive male attention. You just need to find out the truth about what's going on. If she tells you they're just friends, tell her to be careful and explain how he might be trying to get back with her. Then all you can do is trust her. if you don't, its simple - there is no relationship if there is no trust.
This may be a rambling messy piece of advice but I'm tired and I'm just saying whatever opinions come into my head lol
I hope it all works out