I started dating a woman 2 years ago. We are both looking for a long term relationship. We have the same profession and similar avocational interests. We have spent almost every weekend together for the past 2 years. We waited for about 4 months before we became intimate. Each of us has met the other's family and friends and everyone accepts everyone. We host parties together and work well on such events. We are a wonderful match in all other ways. She understands me and I understand her. I don't want this to end.
I love her and I have told her that. She adores me, she respects me, she trusts me, she knows that I am good for her, she knows that I am trustworthy. . . but she doesn't love me. We have discussed this and she says she does not know why she hasn't fallen for me, but. . . it hasn't happened. I know that she can't command her heart to feel love and I am not angry at her. I love her dearly and I want the best for her as well as for myself. I want to have someone who wants me the same way that I want her, and I want her to have someone that she truly loves. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with an unfulfilled need to be loved.
Two weeks ago, I told her that we should take a break on Easter weekend. I told her that if she really wants to be with me, she should call and tell me that she WANTS to see me. If that happens, we can spend next weekend together but I don't want that to happen simply because it is the default option. If she calls, I'll see her. If she doesn't call me this week, she can call me next week. If she doesn't call me by Friday of next week, I will know that she does not truly want me in her life and I will move on. I can't imagine my life without her but she hasn't called me yet.
Your thoughts, advice, and prayers will be appreciated.
Most Helpful Girl
I think you have done a good job of setting boundaries, and maybe you can continue to date with the understanding you will each see other people as well - if you think your heart can handle that. And you can ALWAYS remain friends. But you certainly can let her go. Your heart knows what it needs.
I have been with someone for 18 years. We both love each other very much. We're still intimate sometimes. But we stopped living together 5 years ago, and I see other people. He prefers not to and hopes we will move back together some day, which I think is unlikely.1