I Lost 'The One', How Do I Get Her Back?

Hello all, I am 18 years old and although I shall not go into much detail - I have recently lost the best girl I could ever have dreamed for. I met her at a unique sporting event that we both do (motocross), and because girls rarely do motocross I am lucky to have found a possible partner for life in her. Not only that, we share the same, family orientated, traditional values. We also both have similar personalities and we got on so well and we were together for 7 months.

She broke it up with me 8 weeks ago, for the following reasons: "I had changed", "made her upset" etc. You get the picture! Basically, at that point in time I went through an extremely stressful time in my life and I ended up depressed, not knowing what I wanted in my life and not only did my personality, love and care for my ex girlfriend change, I also kept saying (for 1 month) that I might dump her.

Now that she has dumped me, I am lost. It's been 8 weeks and although I have come to grips with the fact she has dumped me and my head is clear now, I still am finding it very hard. So far (for the whole 8 weeks), I have been constantly texting her, ringing her, trying to see her etc. and I have just not give her ANY space whatsoever - which is what she has asked for many many times. I just find it exceptionally hard to sit back and wait. However yesterday she told me that she does still like me a little bit WHEN SHE SEE'S ME AT MOTOCROSS AND CLUB NIGHT, but in the week I let her down by constantly harrassing her over the phone etc and that is the side of me she is hating. Today, we fell out again and she went back to saying she didn't like me at all anymore - but I know deep down she does (and I knew all along, even tho she only just told me yesterday). I have found my weaknesses and kicked them out my life (that is why she is liking me again when she see's me) and I have also wrote a letter saying sorry and how it will be different next time. So she knows what I have to offer her and she knows how I am now in real life. I think it's just because I'm annoying her in the week still that she still isn't prepared to give me a 2nd chance. What do you think?

What should I do? It has been 8 weeks, I've tried asking her to meet up with me for a talk etc but she is so so stubborn and will never agree to that. So therefore I can only see her at motocross and the club night (so 2 times a week). She says she wants space, and if it helps I KNOW that she still has feelings for me - but because I annoy her so much during the week - she just tells me to p*ss off and she dislikes me all over again. I come across to her as being extremely needy and clingy though, texting her loads every day! She hates clingy. She loves my personality and when I'm with her she likes me and we get on very very well, but in the week we're always at each others throats. But I am afraid to just sit back and give her space by not contacting her at all, because she keeps saying she wants to just be friends -


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah DEFO give her space. One of the biggest attraction killers for me is when a guy is constantly in touch. Girls like their own space too and we like to wonder what a guy is up to once in a while. If you love her as much as you say you do then cut all contact for at least 2 weeks. Might sound impossible but do it. Chances are she will contact you herself in that time anyway. If she doesn't though, then proceed with caution. Just send her a text asking her how she is. Don't bring anything up about the situation or the fact that you want her back, just concentrate on coming across as a stable guy who's sorted himself out now. And make sure you don't keep texting her either- like if the convo starts running dry then stop texting before it becomes awkward and boring. Then give it like another week or so and see what happens. Good luck :)

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • you really screwed up...don't talk to her and giver her the space she asked for...only she can contact you and not you...your needs are a bit demanding for her to deal with so take a time out for now and just walk away until she decides to come back

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  • You gonna have to talk to her about what you wrote hear. Only then can you have clear-cut answer to whether she still has feelings for you or not. If not, I'm sorry but you have to let it go. It can be hardest thing you have to do but it doesn't have to be if have support from friends and family. Counseling really helped me with my personal breakdown. Hope that helped.

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