What should I do?

So there's this guy that I never trusted his actions around my girlfriend , so first I told my girlfriend to not give him much attention and be away from him as much as possible , and I trusted her to do so , but turns out she was casually speaking with him all the same like before ' way too much ' , which kinda broke a bit of my trust , but I let it go by telling her to stop talking to him for good , and that went on for 2 months when I just recently knew that she was talking to him like usual and everything , 3 days ago I asked her if she was talking with him like before , and she lied and said she's not.
What should I do? should I forgive her? Or should I not be with a liar? she already broke a lot of my trust

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you need to work on your own insecurities, and how to build an open and honest communication line with your partners.
    You don't get to dictate who she can or can't speak with, and when you've done that you're basically saying she can't be trusted and has to be guided by your wishes.
    She had done nothing at that point to breach your trust - but you've acted as though she had by telling her what to do. If she wants to be with you, and is committed in your relationship then the other guy liking her means nothing. He can love her; but it's HER who decides her actions and where her affections lie.
    By acting like an insecure, mistrusting and overbearing boyfriend your chances increase that those affections won't be with you

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    • So you mean to tell me that , I can't make my girlfriend to stop talking to one guy because I don't trust his attitude around women?

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    • https://i.imgur.com/0BqeIJe.jpg
      https://i.imgur.com/0p4kYfy.jpg
      Try reading.

      As I already said; respecting your partner and showing your trust is in them, but that you're uncomfortable with the situation opens the discussion to:
      1. For WHY the person feels jealous about the third party. What can the spouse do to alleviate that feeling?
      2. Is their behaviour acceptable or are there boundaries you can discuss so you're both clear on the line
      3. It gives the spouse the opportunity to make their own decision about their actions without being dictated at. THEY decide what their actions will be and the spouse trusts them to not hurt them.

      If you don't trust your partner to do that; they aren't the right person.
      If your partner chooses to ignore your feelings and not attempt to alleviate the negative emotions; they aren't the right person.

      You're both making a compromise, and putting faith NOT DEMANDS forcing them to comply if they want to stay in the relationship.

    • I've learnt this the hard way: I've been with my husband for 9 years and through many struggles.
      You're immaturity on the matter is evident, and your knowledge of what a "bond" actually consists of is negligiable given your opinions on this situation. You have many more lessons on what true values and foundations of a relationship are, that don't involve telling your girlfriend to sit like a good girl (ie; not to talk to boys you don't like because you fee threatened by their presence)

What Guys Said 2

  • Why do you feel that you need to restrict her contact with this guy? When you do so you are not just saying that you don't trust him, you are saying that you don't trust her. If your girlfriend is committed to you then there is literally nothing that this other guy can do to change that. If she isn't committed to you then you'll lose her anyway. That's what trust is about, it's faith. Trust is not built on guarantees or lack of opportunity to cheat, it's based on belief in a person. You make your best judgement and you trust. If you get burned you learn lessons and move on.

    You can't prevent someone from cheating on you or leaving you. To even try just causes more problems than it solves. The only way to improve your chances of keeping someone is to be the best version of yourself. Jealousy and insecurity just push people away and turn your fears into self fulfilling prophecies.

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    • the guy likes her and already told his friends he does so.

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    • She most likely lied about talking to him because you demanded something unreasonable. She is allowed to have male friends, that is entirely reasonable. To ask her to avoid every guy who might like her is asking too much. Perhaps she talks to this guy because he is in her social circle and avoiding him would just be awkward and difficult. She might even like him as as a friend and, again, that is no threat. How many guys out there have close female friends and yet they are entirely in the friend zone and couldn't get a date with her if they tried? Liking to talk to a guy is a long way away from wanting to be with him.

    • Wait wait , let me get things straight , you mean to tell me that It's unreasonable tell my girlfriend to stop talking to this ONE guy?

  • you can stop being a dick

    yes that's what you can do

    a dick you may stop being

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