Things were always great, except we'd barely see each other because of our schedules he's a professional musician plays in a lot of bands here in Vegas&I go to school full time, work&do modeling. But when we would see each other it was good. We were together for almost a year&last Sunday he dumps me on Easter over text, he never had a good reason to. just said he wasn't "feeling our relationship any more then, asked me not to hate him because he didn't hate me&that he knew at some point I wanted kids, and that he was never ever ever going to have them." We had never discussed this before. I mean yeah some day I would have wanted kids but not anytime soon. He never communicated any of his feelings to me about anything so how was I suppose to know something was wrong?
Following this my friend reached out to him &was like you owe her an explanation&he said "nothing I say will make her feel better, she will heal on her own in time" so basically he wasn't going to give me an explanation&was gonna let me feel like shit til I got over it? I love the dude, I don't hate him I just want to understand. I messaged him after my friend told me what he had said. Basically saying I loved him&didn't understand but I don't hate him&that I love him enough to let him be happy even if it didn't include me (which killed me) he replied a few hours after&said it's "no ones fault. You didn't do anything. There was no roots. You'll agree in time" I couldnt believe how cold he was being, I'm so crushed&I haven't talked to him since. I've been ignoring his stories on snap chat even tho the last two days he's been posting pictures of other girls. I'm so hurt by it I have no idea what to do or what this means. he seems so unphased. I've been trying to be mature about it I haven't blasted him on social media, Im letting him have his space. I want him back but I don't know
Most Helpful Guy
I think the age Gap was definitely an issue. Usually the older person wants respect for their life experience.. yet.. you're struggling to be equals since you're deeming yourselves in a relationship and it just doesn't work out. Sometimes older adults like him may be past those "long explanation" phases of relationships because he's been in and out of so many during his life and it's still more fresh to you than it is him.
I think he may have been with you because he found another young girl that was interested in being with him so he jumped on it. And I don't know if you genuinely liked him or if you were going after him for either finances or guidance.
Another possibility is he may still be a child inside and not know what he wants relationship wise in life, and that had to be clear before you commit to someone. I find no reason to commit yourself to anyone that could be your dad, especially if planning to settle down with someone almost 30 years your senior. there's just a dissonance between the generations, and as he ages, he will not be able to fulfill your needs, and you may be stuck being his caretaker.
Some people claim they're "mature for their age" and that's their justification, but I legitimately met this 21 year old girl who claimed her "boyfriend" was 40. They were having trust issues, arguing over Facebook, and believe me, this girl was not the brightest for her own age let alone to date someone that much older. I couldn't even get her to have an intelligent conversation with me. He was just with her for being 21, that's all, but he was also still a child inside.
I wouldn't sweat it, I'd say find a guy your own age who you can grow with that doesn't play games. You'll be able to relate better, and there are good younger guys out there.
- Show AllShow Less