So me and this guy have been in a relationship for a year and a half. It's a long distance relationship. Not a good one either. Yeah we have some things in common but all he really cares about is sex. Everytime I want to talk about something serious, like my school work or a job, he quickly changes it to sex.
I never feel like I'm important enough for him. Lately we have gotten into maybe three arguments over this and two arguments over what he wants for our future. All he says is you. Never actually thinks about it. Because he always answers with you like a second after I ask. Which I mean is okay but also not okay. And he never actually tells me what he wants exactly. Like maybe marriage or a family. A small house or something. I get nothing but you.
And I have tried to break it off a few times now but he always guilt's me. Saying that things will change soon. And one thing he wants me to do is leave my state to go to his. He is far away from his parents and doesn't seem to care about them. I actually care about mine and want to stay here. He travels and is looking for somewhere to live and I told him to come here. His excuse was "It's to expensive".
I want out of this relationship. How do I do it?
Most Helpful Guy
You need to take responsibility for your actions and your life. "He won't let me break up." Really? You need his permission? No, if he talks you out of it that is your decision and you need to take responsibility for it.
"I got a little mad and may have cussed him out for it." Come on! You were there! You know whether you gave him a good cussing. He probably deserved it, too, but why do you say "may have?" Again, trying to distance yourself from your actions.
If you want to stop dating, no one else cares, but if you are assuming that all guys are like the loser you selected. . . you're wrong. You just need to do a better job of selecting a partner.3
Most Helpful Girl
He's being abusive and trying to control you. You were right to cuss him out. Well done for asserting yourself (although probably best to only block from now on - don't give him the satisfaction of a response, even. He will probably get bored quicker that way, also. Hopefully.)
He probably WON'T cut himself, but if he does, it will not be your fault - he chose to do it. That's only a manipulation tactic. And since he KNOWS y'all never be seeing each other again, he can say it. Will you see his cuts? No. They will probably never happen. You can't disprove it; you can bet this is just a shallow manipulation attempt. Also, you can't decide or even really predict when depression will hit you - and if it hits you over a break up, you CLEARLY had underlying issues BEFORE [and if he does have any sort of breakdown, you can actually be glad you triggered that to come out into the open so he can get help. Yes, break ups can be upsetting, but depression? Unlikely to occur over a break up and y'all don't even sound like you were committed (I mean, you may have been) but certainly seemed he didn't care & was objectifying you.
In short: he showed his ass, & you dodged a bullet by cutting that one short. Had the relationship continued, you can bet it would have gotten steadily more controlling & abusive. Thank God it was long-distance!
Well done for asserting yourself. If he continues to harrass you, screenshot it, and block (preferably in reverse order, if possible). It will probably not escalate (he doesn't seem to have cared THAT much while in a relationship with you, FOR THIS reaction? Extremely disproportionate [tho it would be unacceptable in any circumstance, but this REALLY shows it's just about him being a certain sort of person].
(Also, he travels but won't make it a PRIORITY to see his girlfriend of a YEAR and a HALF? Come on.)
I'm sorry you went through this, but you REALLY are better off without that prick1