He won't let me break up. What do I do?

So me and this guy have been in a relationship for a year and a half. It's a long distance relationship. Not a good one either. Yeah we have some things in common but all he really cares about is sex. Everytime I want to talk about something serious, like my school work or a job, he quickly changes it to sex.
I never feel like I'm important enough for him. Lately we have gotten into maybe three arguments over this and two arguments over what he wants for our future. All he says is you. Never actually thinks about it. Because he always answers with you like a second after I ask. Which I mean is okay but also not okay. And he never actually tells me what he wants exactly. Like maybe marriage or a family. A small house or something. I get nothing but you.
And I have tried to break it off a few times now but he always guilt's me. Saying that things will change soon. And one thing he wants me to do is leave my state to go to his. He is far away from his parents and doesn't seem to care about them. I actually care about mine and want to stay here. He travels and is looking for somewhere to live and I told him to come here. His excuse was "It's to expensive".
I want out of this relationship. How do I do it?

Updates:
So he managed to use a few accounts he had to contact me. Called me inconsiderate and impatient. And then said if I blocked him again that he would be depressed and start cutting. I got a little mad and may have cussed him out for it. Then blocked him again. I'm done dating for a long time.
I just realized how stupid that was lol. "He won't let me break up." But anyways he found my email account and tried to message me again hours ago but I just ignored him. Nothing since thank God for that. Anyways I am now finally free from him. Thanks everyone.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to take responsibility for your actions and your life. "He won't let me break up." Really? You need his permission? No, if he talks you out of it that is your decision and you need to take responsibility for it.

    "I got a little mad and may have cussed him out for it." Come on! You were there! You know whether you gave him a good cussing. He probably deserved it, too, but why do you say "may have?" Again, trying to distance yourself from your actions.

    If you want to stop dating, no one else cares, but if you are assuming that all guys are like the loser you selected. . . you're wrong. You just need to do a better job of selecting a partner.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's being abusive and trying to control you. You were right to cuss him out. Well done for asserting yourself (although probably best to only block from now on - don't give him the satisfaction of a response, even. He will probably get bored quicker that way, also. Hopefully.)

    He probably WON'T cut himself, but if he does, it will not be your fault - he chose to do it. That's only a manipulation tactic. And since he KNOWS y'all never be seeing each other again, he can say it. Will you see his cuts? No. They will probably never happen. You can't disprove it; you can bet this is just a shallow manipulation attempt. Also, you can't decide or even really predict when depression will hit you - and if it hits you over a break up, you CLEARLY had underlying issues BEFORE [and if he does have any sort of breakdown, you can actually be glad you triggered that to come out into the open so he can get help. Yes, break ups can be upsetting, but depression? Unlikely to occur over a break up and y'all don't even sound like you were committed (I mean, you may have been) but certainly seemed he didn't care & was objectifying you.

    In short: he showed his ass, & you dodged a bullet by cutting that one short. Had the relationship continued, you can bet it would have gotten steadily more controlling & abusive. Thank God it was long-distance!

    Well done for asserting yourself. If he continues to harrass you, screenshot it, and block (preferably in reverse order, if possible). It will probably not escalate (he doesn't seem to have cared THAT much while in a relationship with you, FOR THIS reaction? Extremely disproportionate [tho it would be unacceptable in any circumstance, but this REALLY shows it's just about him being a certain sort of person].

    (Also, he travels but won't make it a PRIORITY to see his girlfriend of a YEAR and a HALF? Come on.)

    I'm sorry you went through this, but you REALLY are better off without that prick

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • Tell him it's over, block him on all social media. Change your phone number if you can.

    Than go find a decent guy.

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  • Your making it harder then what it is. Say it's over and goodbye and then block him everywhere so he can say anything that will make your crumble at his feet. LDR is easy to walk away from as you don't have to worry about him seeing you and harassing you in public.

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  • Just say it and mean it... You can't let this guy control you any more. Message him and just say that's its over and then block all communication from him..

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    • I did. Thank you. I really needed that.

    • It was a pleasure to assist. 😊 if you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact me ☺️

  • You don't answer, block him again, don't add any new friends on social media for a while. If he starts doing that shit to himself, let him, either he'll realize that's he's stupid or he will hurt himself until he really realizes hea stupid

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  • First of all, you already broke up, the end. Record all his messages and use it as proof for a restraining order.

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  • "He won't let me break up."
    No, hun. YOU won't let YOURSELF break up.

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  • What's the question again? LOL

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  • You say "It's over" and then you stop talking to him, it's pretty easy lol

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  • Straight up tell him it's over and don't take no for an answer

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  • Just end it, be graceful about it, bc there are some psycho mofos out there. Just use the line, it's not you it's me and explain how you need time to yourself and figure out your life but you can still be friends.

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  • get away from him deny all text msgs avoid him

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  • He doesn't control you. Just break up ignore him and stop talking if that's what it takes

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  • don't communicate with him no more

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  • It's pretty easy u just need to say 5 magical worlds I'm breaking up with you

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  • I laughed so hard.

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  • get out. just get out. his problems are his problems, not yours

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What Girls Said 6

  • The thing about breakups is that they don't get to be mutual. Just inform him you are done and if he continues to harass you (very important you say harass), you will contact the police.

    Then you block him on all social media and you go on with your life.

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  • Don't tell him that you want to break up because __, __, and ___. Don't introduce the topic as a discussion point- just tell him it's over.

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  • Do not, absolutely do not, move for him. I see you said you are not dating for a long time. SO I am sure I did not need to say that. The fact that he tries to guilt trip you and resorts to such tactics as going through several accounts after you have made it clear that you do not wish to speak to him is a HUGE red flag... and speaks volumes regarding his character. Though from what you first stated, you already know this is not someone with an honorable character. I would suggest that you continue blocking him from whatever number or account that he contacts you from and be a smart ass when he calls you inconsiderate or whatever. Say something to the effect of "I have been trying to be more inconsiderate, I am glad that all my hard work is finally paying off. Thank you for giving such a perfect opportunity to do so." Ok so that last part is a joke (kinda) but he sounds like trouble that you do not need. You are young and should be selfish right now by focusing on you and what you need to accomplish. At least that is my opinion.

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  • It seems pretty simple he doesn't control you, but your letting him. If you want out say so, stick to it and walk away!

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  • Block him from everything and don't look back! Don't let him try to yake you accountable for his actions. Best of luck finding a real man :)

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  • oh my Lord. leave him behind. he needs some help

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