Keep breaking my own heart. Advice?

Over the years I've come across some great chances to finally gain a girlfriend. But every time I find someone special, I descend into shyness and negativity. Doesn't matter how cool or nice the girl is, I just seem to feel unworthy or undeserving. This year has been the hardest because I found my perfect girl, a fellow artist with everything I could ask for and I knew I had a great chance with her if I just tried. But I completely chickened out for no real logical reason; she was even showing me some signs of interest. And now at the end of senior year and graduating this monday, I feel really depressed because she is moving and working far away all summer and going to a different college and I haven't come anywhere close to making any advances. I've had this kind of problem for years, I keep finding a great girl and then letting her go, out of fear. I'll either wait to long and they loose interest or they get a boyfriend or I simply run out of time and chances. My mind and heart are always at odds and I can't seem to get over the crippling shyness and insecurity. I should be happy about graduating, but I just fear the summer alone and turning 18 without ever having a girlfriend (I know, pathetic). I could really use some advice or comfort. Before I turn suicidal. Thanks


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Most Helpful Girl

  • For a second while reading this I thought that you might have been this guy I had liked haha. That means that you sound sweet. I've personally had many of the feelings that you are having. I'm 17, I've never had a boyfriend and frankly I don't see it happening anytime soon. It is because of my shyness. I can be completely normal around other guys, but when I start liking someone I just become so shy. I seem to be waiting for everything to come to me, which I realize isn't right because if course the other person is going to be nervous too. Also like you, people have made advances and I've almost pushed them away... even when I really like them. Until I am out of chances.

    What you have to keep telling yourself is that there is a reason that things have been going this way for you. If you want to change it, you've already completed the first step by recognizing the problem. The thing is, we need to learn to not be afraid of looking like an idiot or being rejected, to become more confident. That's all that I can tell you. Many people are in your situation, don't be discouraged. Take those few chances that you have left to see her to show her that you like her. Make more time with her by asking her out. It's scary... but you'll have to do it with someone eventually haha.

    Good luck! x

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well be patient and the girl of your life will come to you. In the summer you can search a girl over the internent or socialize with other people.

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What Guys Said 2

  • A typical artist, melodramatic with a twist of suicidal tendencies. I'm just kidding but not really. Anyway, you need to convince yourself that you deserve happiness. You can deliver happiness. If this weren't true, no woman would be interested in you at all. Women who were interested in you must have saw something in you.So, you may not be Brad Pitt or George Clooney, it doesn't matter. You can be a 5, and she could be a 10. If she is interested in you, then you are worthy. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, grow some balls, and grab the opportunities presented to you. Be aggressive, damn it, and you do deserve happiness!

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  • Remember that guys and gals have one thing in common ; we all like sex. Stay focused.

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