It is time to break up. I have tried to be the best boyfriend that I can be but, after two years, she just isn't into me. I've told her that I love her; she has told me that she really likes me, respects me, and trusts me. . . but she doesn't love me. Spending time together is not as important to her as it is to me. In the last three weeks, we have spent only one night together. She had plans for all those other weekend days I wanted to be together, and her plans didn't include me.
I am not angry at her but I am disappointed that she has been somewhat selfish in our relationship. I could tell her how I am sad, disappointed, etc. but what's the purpose? It won't change anything. So why even tell her all the reasons and go through the litany of "I said this and then you said that and then I did this," etc?
Of course, if our relationship had been toxic, my plan for breaking up would revolve around minimizing the drama and the potential for any arguments getting out of control. But that is not a concern.
Have you broken up when you realized that a long term relationship just wasn't working? How did you break up?
- I have never had a relationship that broke up.17%(7)22%(14)Vote29%(7)
- My only breakups were of toxic relationships and I just made sure that I was safe.12%(5)9%(6)Vote4%(1)
- When I broke up, I told my SO via text or email15%(6)14%(9)Vote12%(3)
- When I broke up, we did it over the phone12%(5)12%(8)Vote12%(3)
- When I broke up, we did it in person but it was brief and relatively unemotional20%(8)20%(13)Vote21%(5)
- When I broke up, we did it in person and discussed the reasons. Later, I realized that this WAS helpful12%(5)12%(8)Vote12%(3)
- When I broke up, we did it in person and discussed the reasons. Later, I realized that this was NOT helpful12%(5)11%(7)Vote10%(2)
Most Helpful Girl
It sounds like you two are on different life paths. You want commitment, and a connection. The way you describe her, it sounds like she is just looking for a good time. If you already told her and she hasn't responded then just get everything you own and leave and don't bother looking back. When I was your age and I knew it wasn't going to work, I didn't even bother calling to tell them it was over, they will figure it out and it sounds like like she needs someone to do just that, leave her alone. Don't feel bad, just block her calls for as long as you can and when you do speak don't bother explaining, just say your moving in a different direction. Don't fall for any lies or manipulation to win you back, you're not married. I hope that helps. Go find a good girl at a library or soup kitchen volunteering. You'll thank me later. Best wishes.2
Most Helpful Guy
When I break up with a girl, I usually have 2 rules that never change.
1. Unless it doesn't make sense to, break up in person.
2. Do not have sex and then break up.
I had this girlfriend once and I was trying for a month to break up with her. I wanted to tell her after we hung out for a bit because I felt bad just showing up breaking up and leaving. The only problem is that I kept having sex with her. I wasn't even the one initiating. I felt like shit. So I just came over one night when I knew we would be alone and broke up with her then..2