My ex and I were due to marry in 3months. In all honesty, I wasn't happy but I didn't hav the courage to call it off myself. We were together for only 8 months & it was a long distance relationship. I'd say our good times lasted the first 3months. I wanted more time in getting to know him but he was adamant on marrying asap & settling down. I agreed. As time went, I realised he had no respect for me, arguments became frequent & he resorted to calling me derogatory names each time. Names included "retard", "imbecile." I explained how I felt but he would say "I hav to call u names because I can't hit a girl; Name calling isn't personal 2 me; ur over sensitive." On many occasions, he'd demand a break away from me. He even used to check out other girls in front of me. He wanted me to become more modest with my clothing even though I don't wear revealing clothes. The last few weeks of our break up became really bad. I put him first in absolutely everything, gave him so much, recreated his CV, made lots of effort to go see him. He was so ungrateful. During this time I was realising he wasn't ready 4 commitment as his decisions didn't consider me. I wasn't going 2 get a proper honeymoon bcoz of his messy finances but he was going abroad for a stag. We decided a break for 2 wks and 2 days in I created an Instagram a/c. I went to follow him, I saw that he had liked a girl's pic who was wearing next 2 nothing. I felt so hurt. How hypocritical. Next, I made a mistake which I feel so disappointed in myself 4. He'd told me something in confidence & in anger/upset, I exposed this secret to his dad. Since then, he has blocked me on whatsapp & doesn't want anything to do with me. I've told him countless times I'm sorry, but he doesn't want me. I've been texting him quite a lot & now he is saying I am harrassing him.
My question: will he ever realise what he has lost in me? He'd told me on the day I returned his belongings to him that other than the mistake I'd made, I was perfect.
Most Helpful Guy
first off, you were right in needing time to know each other. the first red flag was him wanting to marry someone within a year. another flag is long distance relationships usually don't work out. if someone is looking to marry asap and settle down then they are not looking for love but just pure selfishness. marriage is something that should be treasured by two people who mutually understand and respect each other. not some manipulation and verbally abusive relationship. the way it is going is a possible domestic violence route where he would verbally assault you and degrade you down to worthlessness so he can manipulate you easier. this would just make you very unhappy, sad, depressed, and sense of guilt. there is nothing you have to feel sorry for him, instead you should be sorry for yourself for months/years you've spent with him. as for your question he will not feel sorry for you and will keep doing what he was doing to you before.0
Most Helpful Girl
Both of you screwed up big time. He was being way too demanding and possessive and you betrayed his trust and told his dad something that he clearly told you was a secret. Move on girl sounds to me like a very toxic relationship from begin with.1