Do ex's change for good or temporarily after a break up?

I have an ex who wants a second chance.

He was emotionally unavailable when we started dated- lasted a month.

When I cut him off completely he's been super depressed and shows regret according to my mutual friends and claim he has changed.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If a person is emotionally unavailable, you can't just fix it. It's not like a switch you turn on and off as you wish. In many cases it takes a therapist to find out the cause of being unable to show emotions. Right now, he wants you back and has decided he has changed. If it took less than a month the first time for you to have issues with this, you will again find yourself in the same position. People are usually on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship. If something like this shows up that early, he needs help. I'm sure he shows regret, but that does not mean he changed. I would advise very strongly not to go back with him. You are not responsible for him hurting or being depressed, he is. You owe him nothing and should have no guilt of any kind. Lastly, I speak from having gone through the same thing. I swore I'd change and didn't. I finally had to accept that I couldn't do it alone. After spending a lot of time with a therapist, I overcame it. First, I had to understand why I had put up the wall and deal with that and then start taking down the wall. It took time and I wished I had done it much sooner. I wish you the best!


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What Guys Said 3

  • my philosophy:
    I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

    • Bingo! Exactly!

    • Show All
    • I have myTakes about 1) who should you marry, 2) when should you marry, 3) is it time to break up, 4) how to break up, and 5) how to move forward after a breakup. I use parts of those all the time! And I sometimes just give people the link so thy can read the whole thing themselves.

    • @OlderAndWiser I post the link too sometimes. Just didn't today.

  • not really no I've seen asshole blokes sweet talk their way back into a relationship only to do exactly the same thing after a couple of weeks which lead to break up

  • depends on the person, I've seen both men and women cycle through a terrible life because the simple fact that they can't change. but some people do genuinely learn and grow


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