Please help, need suggestions, his job is ruining us?

There are several things tied together here. Namely, he needed more money to catch up on past due child support. He's not a dead beat, he was laid off a few years ago and fell behind. His current job has him working 60+ hours a week, and even if I changed jobs, we wouldn't get more time together. He goes into work when I go to bed, gets home after I go into work, is asleep before I get home. He never gets enough time to himself, I don't get as much of him as I need, and we've started resenting each other. We NEED time apart because all we do now is fight, but due to his lisence being taken as punishment for his back due support payments in another state, he cannot get to work unless he's living here with me, because the city buses don't start until after his shifts begin. If he loses his job, before getting another one, he'll end up in jail if he falls behind again. So I feel like I'm obligated to remain in an unhappy situation or else I'm sentencing him to jail time. I know that this situation can eventually be resolved if he can find other work, but until then, I feel like a complete and total clean break is what I need. I love him, he isn't the problem, its his work schedule, that's when all the problems started.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, this is a matter of time, patience is what you need, find a close friend of yours that he trusts, and tell him that you'll start going out with your friend a little sometimes, just to get it off you, all this stress, is due to lack of company as I understand. So in my perspective, it's of best interest to wait and while you can't see each other, just have faith and go out with a good friend sometimes.

    • I literally have only one friend here that I trust, and it's a guy. I know that I'll start falling for him if I hang out with him too much because he is there for me and actually cares. That's only going to get me emotionally confused. I know because 2 years ago my boyfriend pushed me away in fear when he stated falling for me and I tried to do exactly this.

    • Well then, to be preeetty honest, I don't really know how to help if not having a friend close by... In this case... It can be pretty hard to go through alone. If no friends, talk to your guy and see if there is any little space of time you guys could be together. I guess it's the best option after the first one, I really wish you the best of luck.

Most Helpful Girl

  • While it's horrible that he could potentially go to jail, you're not running a hotel! I would give him a fair notice to find a place and part ways. There's no reason to make this your problem

    • We're sublet with family friends who care about both of is equally. He doesn't have to leave until he can do so without losing his job. But I could get kicked out if the fighting doesn't stop, and us talking always turns into me yelling at him because he stresses me. I feel like he's trying to cause fights, but that's been since before yelling became an issue. I keep telling him that I don't want to talk because we just go in circles.

    • Show All
    • I've been here for over 10 years. He moved in with me less than a year ago. I'm only having to pay $400 a month for everything, including prepared meals, and we have separate rooms. I average about $600 per month income, and I don't have any female friends here in town. In short, I can't afford to leave, and why should I have to give up such a great arrangement when I was here first?

    • Oh wow, that would be hard to replace!

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