Why do some people feel the need to speak badly of their ex after a break up?

I saw a question on here a couple of days back, where a girl put up a picture of herself with the caption "why would he break up with me?" and then at the end of the question said "by the way he has a small dick". I really just don't understand what people hope to get my talking about their exes like this? Her ex was never going to see that so I don't understand, why bother? It just seems so pointless to me.

I've been through some bad break ups but I'd never ever speak badly of any of my exes because It'll just make me look petty and bitter and because I spent a huge part of my life with them, they made me who I am today. If anything, I'm grateful for them.

I've seen so many girls do this and I just don't understand? Not even just on GaG, in real life too. Anyone who can shed some light on this to me, I'm entirely grateful 😂


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that it's just another form of venting, it's somewhat cathartic. Perhaps the fact that the other person will never see it is a deliberate thing and, as such, it somewhat makes it better than saying it directly to them.

    I agree with you that the bitterness doesn't make anything better. However, if the ex was an all consuming twatface then they perhaps deserve to be spoken of in shitty terms. At the very least they can't complain about it.

    I definitely don't advocate taking any kind of revenge on an ex, but I think you should be at liberty to call them a cock faced hemorrhoid on the arsehole of humanity. It's kind of liberating :D

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think some people react this way because either their ex was really bad and can't contain it or they're being very petty. Even if you're going to talk about your ex poorly, I don't think it should be on a public platform maybe in private.

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What Guys Said 24

  • When people speak bad about their ex it's usually because of bad things that were done to them or they weren't the one to decide to end it. They're hurt and sometimes miss them. It feels good to get their feelings out. Often times if they find out somehow their ex found a new partner they get jealous.

    It's good to cut all ties with your ex but for many it's hard to do because they played such a big part in their life.

    So usually when something bad is said it's because they're hurting inside. If someone has something bad to say then let them say it. Yes it's wrong but it affects their ex in no way. When they start doing things like posting pictures or harassing them then I have a major problem with that.

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  • it all really depends on ones perspective on life. for me after my first breakup I knew to give the person space and even though we don't talk now i still know she's a great person. after my second relationship the person decided not even 2 weeks after the breakup to go off with some guy she knew for friends with benefits. honestly yes i was floored and mad as hell and i want nothing to do with her but i don't wish the worst things in lofe for her. i know she just has to mature and understand the consiqens of her actions. for me that's my opinion, for other people it may be a blow to their pride or status so they make the other person look bad to stand on top.

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  • You are only 22 and still have most of your life ahead of yourself.
    What kind of "huge" part of your life you spent with "exes" (plural) when you are just 22?
    If you wasted 5~7 years of your life on a relationship that didn't lead anywhere you would probably have much less optimistic views.

    But yes being petty solves nothing, that being said reflecting is a natural human behavior.
    We blame others because accepting our own flaws and possible inadequacy is much harder.

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    • The point I was trying to make is that at one stage they were a huge part of my life. Hence why I would never say anything bad about them.

  • ok to say frankly... speaking about ex it means they still have some feelings on them. it may be love r anger so they are expressing. I agree with you that one should not degrade their Ex ,.

    but if they really pissed his/ her life why they should just sit and feel bad?

    if they are saying on each other , it is just not a relationship it's just for timepass. after that they point fingers on each other.

    I say it's vary from person to person.. I like to advise on GaG because it is one of the platform where we can share. thanks for bringing this

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  • they're salty

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  • I think you basically said it yourself. they're pretty and bitter. they want to try to get people on their side because they just lost the argument that led to the end of the relationship, and thus lost the relationship as well. when they ask why he'd leave her, she gave her answer right there. she was petty and bitter about things and he didn't want to be in an unhealthy relationship like that.

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  • I can understand if they cheated but I don't really know. Maybe thats how the cope? To make themselves look better in a way? I've never done that. I could easily with some news I got about a recent ex but I'm not about that.

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  • Its a common feeling that most people get when they fight or argue with someone, they want to make the rival as embarrassed as possible. hence they do these things... right?

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    • I just think it's so pointless. Especially on here, like that example I have above, no one knew her ex. So her saying all that bad stuff has zero effect 😂

  • it's a dating strategy to show that they have moved on from their exes and want fresh attention from the opposite sex.

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    • Strange strategy to have in my opinion. If I saw a guy mad mouthing his ex, I'd first thing "he's not over her" and secondly think "what kind of a person are you" 😂😂

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    • You're right. I don't ever feel the need to talk about my exes in any way either. They're in the past and that's that. It's just the strangest thing to me seeing people do stuff like that, like just move on 😂

    • it's somehow very hard for people to move on. the venting sometimes creates bitterness and a desire for revenge. oh dear god , I have seen that been done to me and i pray that noone does that to their exes.

  • because probably their ex cheated on them or dumped them without any reason.

    by the way i remember that question too. i think its immature to do or say anything like that. its really childish

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  • maybe just petty hate for breaking his/her heart

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  • well there are several reasons, some people are real assholes so they blame on their ex.. some people thinks it is easy to forgot if we say bad things about them.. in some cases they start bitching about them cause they can't have them anymore.. well its depends on person to person

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  • to show they were wronged and they came out of it a Winner. While the other person was the Cillian who lost.

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  • They want to make the other person seem down and say stupid comments about them.

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  • Anger and frustration rules.

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  • Because those girls are bitches and you're not 😁

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  • u have done a right thing dear! after the break up it seems pointless to criticize badly as it is a past. But yeah, if they are dumped for no reason n r hurt, then they tend to criticize...

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  • They're hurt

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  • well i n my case she was a bitch, 7 months being married, and she was cheating on me

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    • Ya I think in the case of cheating then it's a lot more acceptable. It's just when it's for attention or whatever some people do it for that I just think it's stupid and petty.

  • for me my ex is a good person

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  • cover up the part they played inn. or guilty conscious

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  • Simple- To hide one's own faults.

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    • so if a girl cheats on a guy and then the guy calls her a whore afterwords how on earth is it the guys fault for talking negatively allthough true about her. I can't wait for your answer

    • You didn't get my answer. People who are the wrong doer, usually they say bad things behind to hide their fault, irrespective of gender.

      In your example, you are right. But calling someone behind their back is also like stopping to their level.

  • Maybe they had a bad experience with their ex?

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  • If it's true yes but a guy having a tiny thing is usely a guy that's a real gerk

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What Girls Said 5

  • Some people have a hard time handling their emotions after they've been hurt and don't have good coping skills. It doesn't mean they're bad people, just immature in that sense. (But not everyone is like that.)

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  • I think it's their way of lashing out to deal with their pain. As well as possibly..., they don't have respect for the guy or themselves really, to portrait themselves in that light.

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  • I think they want to speak bad of them so that other people won't want to date them after you. Usually when people speak badly of their exes it means they still think about them, and are still angry or upset about happened to their relationship

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  • I don't speak bad about him and he didn't give me any reason for being mad at him honestly.

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  • So immature. Bothing is worse than people putting stupid quoetes about their evil ex on fb after a breakup or other stupid shot like that. Someone got hurt i guess shows they sre deeply affected and not over it and very immature and angry and wants to look better.

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