Should I end it?

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now, but he's still not over his ex which he hasn't seen in 2 years. They stopped dating 2 years ago due to distance... she lives in China and he lives in America. Neither can really leave because of their job. My boyfriend is very caring and loving towards me, he cares for me when I'm sick, all the things that good boyfriends do...but he still talks about his ex. He's even dated girls after her (before our relationship) but he seems he's still hung up on her.

He brings her up in conversations, even when it's not really that relevant. He still talks to her sometimes through e-mail, though not that often. He will usually tell me when they do talk, but I still feel like I'm somehow competing against her to win him over.

He does care for me, but I'm not sure that he loves me and I'm afraid I'm wasting my time with him even though it would hurt me deeply to break up with him. I love him so much, but I just don't know if I can continue this because he's not over her.

All of our friends and even his mother and sister say that he cares deeply for me, but they also know that he's not over his ex. Most of them have told me to just wait, but I don't know if he'll ever love me because he's not over her. What should I do, should I end it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • if you want to be with him I think you should tell him.."ok I understand you're not over your ex, but its been 2 years and I'm here now, I'm over her haunting our relationship, so you can either get over her completely or be prepared to loose me and end up with no one"..

    but I honestly think that if its been 2yrs and you've been with him a year and he's not over her yet, then'll a year from now it'll be the samething, so I really think you should just cut your loses and end it..b4 you end up really hurt...


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What Guys Said 1

  • try leaving him a note and talking or seeing him ever again until he decides to leave her and be with you...don't talk about this just do this or you will make it tougher to break up


What Girls Said 1

  • I think it's time you two had a SERIOUS talk . You shouldn't have to compete with her , but in a sense that's the position he has put you in . I don't want to sound harsh , but it seems as if he's using you as a CRUTCH and regardless of what anyone tells you . . . . . You KNOW that something is wrong. I do believe that part of him cares for you , but not even that part will EVER let you get the best of him with her still being in the picture. He is EMOTIONALLY attached to someone else and you have knowingly allowed yourself to be involved in a very unnecessary "love triangle" . Until he figures out where he truly wants to be you have to cut your loses. If not your always be "that girl" and she'll be the "one " that got away.


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