Is it okay for a spouse to confide in another person of the opposite sex?

I just found out my soon to be ex wife's been confiding in another man at work for a few years. They don't physically work together but they talked through the company's internal chat system daily.

Is this messed up or is it just me? I found out she was complaining, getting marital advice, etc. Am I wrong to be upset about this? Would you let her know you know now?


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • It's normal. I have the same thing. A good friend who comes to me for relationship advice and i come to him. And we're strictly platonic.
    Sometimes you feel like you can't express your frustration to the fullest with your spouse so you have a venting buddy. The only thing I would be upset about was if she's complaining to somebody else but at the same time not trying to resolve the issue with me

    • Yeah. That's what was happening. She had nearly no communication with me about our marriage issues then I find out about this. I guess I can't help but think it contributed to the demise of our marriage.

    • As long as it's being upset about "not fixing problems in your own relationship while complaining to someone else" and not "she's talking to the opposite sex" I think it's justifiable. Plus you may not want your marital problems being discussed with strangers outside of the marriage.
      However once you finalize the divorce all that will be behind you and you'll be able to find someone better, so there won't be a reason to be upset

  • I feel like it was wrong of her to talk to another man about whats going on in your relationship. And now this new guy is probably hoping that you two end your marriage so he can maybe get with her. I have seen this happen to many times.

    • I'd be more upset if this was the case. I know this guy is married and they're literally like 30mins apart, so no physical access. I know him and he probably really liked the attention from another girl.

  • I wouldn't be upset unless they discussed sex, or she trash talked me and he allowed it.
    I don't see the point in letting her know unless it somehow helps the divorce proceedings (which it won't)


What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Recommended myTakes