Should I text her again to apologize?

I met this girl in late 2015, got her number, but then she told me she lived in another state. We still decided to text, and we ended up catching feelings and texting every day for several months (it was like we were in a relationship, but never official). I broke things up because I saw no future, despite still having feelings. She told me she loved me.
A few months later she texted me again. She wanted to be friends, but I was an asshole and I didn't treat her right, so she decided to confess and told me she still loved me and that she was planning on taking a trip to my town to see me in a few months, but after how I treated her, she called things off and told me to not reply to that text so she could finally move on.

Her last text was last August, but since then, I've been feeling guilty for the way I treated her. She didn't deserve it, but I was an asshole. I don't have any feelings. I don't want anything with her anymore, I just want to apologize to her and let her know that I still cared (and still do) despite acting like a total jerk.

Should I text her and apologize, or should I just forget about it and move on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ideally speaking, you should apologize. But its too late now. So apologizing her after an year would just dig up old memories which she has probably buried away.
    Possibly she moved on. I think you'll be apologizing just for yourself-that is to make you guilt-free of treating her like that, and much less for her.
    In that case I'd suggest to accept that you were asshole to her, forgive yourself and vow to never do it again to anyone. And then move on

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    • Yeah... I guess I'll just live with the guilt, kind of the price to pay for hurting her :/

    • As I said, you do not have to live in guilt, just forgive yourself, we all do mistakes... And then move on..

Most Helpful Guy

  • Text her, their is no harm in it and its good to clear up any remaining issues you may have with her. Worse case scenario she ignores you best case scenario you make her feel better and let her realize that you did not mean to be cruel. Either way their is no real downside to it.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Listen, stop letting fear get in the way of your feelings. If you want to apologize do it. Do it with Love. Nothing ever bad comes from acts, with the intent of love. And I feel, you have that intent.
    Go for it!
    Set your heart free!!!
    I'm sorry this happened to you both.

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  • I mean if you don't have any feelings maybe it would be best not to? i mean obviously you know her better than any of us do.. do you think if you text her to say sorry it could possibly get her hopes up in feeling like you might be interested again? or do you think she will just see it as a apology? if the latter then maybe it would be nice to do so as to make this question you must be feeling quite bad about it.

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    • I don't know if it'll get her hopes up, tbh. It's been so long, and I'd assume she'd be over me by now, since it's been a year since I ended things. That's why I don't know if I should text her or not, cause I don't wanna give her false hope

    • If it was me and i had feelings for a guy and he ended it then text me a year later it would get my hopes up lol.. but that could just be me.. she also might be annoyed at you or even not reply.. but if it would make you feel better then i think you could give it a try but might not be the outcome you want... could make you feel worse.

  • I think it's one of those things you should just leave alone. it's not worth the risk of making her feel worse to make yourself feel better right? if you feel badly, you might deserve to honestly. if you were a jerk to her then the best way to make it up to her would be to let her forget about you and move on, not bring back feelings or memories. sometimes it's easier to move on if you feel someone is a jerk

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  • Leave it alone. Like someone else said below, texting or calling can have her curious about you again.

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  • Yeah go apologise for your jerky behaviour but make sure she knows that it's only an apology and not something more

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    • Do you think contacting her after a long time would give her false hope? Even if I'm just apologizing?

    • Hmmm yep I do that's why you gotta make sure that she knows you just wanted to apologise so you both can move on

  • i think you should let it be, think you both have moved on, its almost been a year, if you text her she'll maybe remember you and get feeling again. But its up 2 you

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  • No.. just forget it and move on.

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  • Yep, you should apologize for acting like a jerk, it's a nice thing to do.

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  • just forget about it and move on. leave her alone.

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  • Ohhh that's hard... I get the whole apologizing thing but you don't know if she's dating someone and she's happy... texting or calling her could possibly get her curious about you again.

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    • That's exactly why I don't know what to do :/ I don't want her to get curious about me again, but at the same time, the way things ended... it just didn't seem the right way

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    • No, I don't :/ I literally know nothing about her since last August, when we last talked.

    • Hmmmm honestly I'd apologize... just keep it brief.

  • TEXT HER!

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    • Don't you think it may give her false hope? I don't know if she's over me (I assume she is, given how long it's been, but I'm not 100% and I don't wanna hurt her again :/

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    • then leave it like that
      you will just get her hopes up :/

    • Hmmm... fuck lol
      Thanks :)

  • Apologize. clarity and closure is always the way to go.

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  • I'd advise you just leave her alone and find someone else to spend your time and affections on.

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  • Text her but don't expect a reply, she has to move on and so do you, so just apologize as a friend.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You may text her to apologize but you must expect everything from she not responding to you to she calling you a fucking asshole...

    in my opinion, I'd let things be and I'd move on.

    But it is you who must decide.

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    • I don't care if she ignores me or calls me an asshole, I just want to apologize :/

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    • Because I don't know if she's over me, and I don't want to give her false hope. I don't want her to think I'm coming back. I don't wanna hurt her again

    • You may tell her that, "I want to apologize about being and asshole but I don't know how to do it without giving you false hope about us"

      You decide how that sounds. Like I told you, I wouldn't, maybe she is trying to get over you and you will just get in her process fucking everything up. Who knows, everyone is different. It just the way I think.

      You do how you think is best.

  • Sure, you can always apolotize if you feel you've made the wrong decision or said the wrong things.
    Just do it, large chance of success :D

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  • No, it will be more confusing than anything to text her at this point, and that's before you consider reopening very old wounds.

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  • I think you should call her on the phone and cry, works all the time.

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  • Text her and apologize man. It's worth a shot.

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  • Rule 6: Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness.

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