Long story short. I was in a relationship with a guy for about 6 years. we broke up about 7 months ago and have kept regular contact. we hang out and talk all the time.he is even planning on coming to the beach with my fam for a few days.
i am ready to start our relationship again and not having commitment from him is starting to get difficult. whenever we bring it up he just says that he isn't ready to jump back into a relationship.i kind of feel like he's taking me for granted...trying to have his cake and eat it to. we act like boyfriend girlfriend in every way except the commitment. I know he isn't seeing anyone else and he says I'm the one he wants to be with...
i think part of the reason that he isn't ready is because after the break up we actually started getting along better we realized our feelings for each other were strong and we treated each other so much better than we did before the break up.i think he is enjoying the attention I am showering him with and is afraid that if we get back together it will return to the way it was before the break up.i know it won't because I have changed completely.
if I back off on contacting him as often do you think this will open his eyes to how much he truly wants to be with me? I want him to see that he can't have me 100% if he's not willing to give back 100%? please help and give any advice.
Most Helpful Girl
hi! I actually went through a similar situation. I was in a relationship with this guy, he broke up with me because he felt that it was getting too serious and then a few months later, he asks me if it would be alright if we could start seeing each other again...but without the commitment. And of course, I totally say yes because I was in love with him and hoped that maybe he just needed a little time. 2 years passes by and we were still in this weird relationship were we acted like we were a couple, but the commitment just wasn't there. Also, like your situation, I also knew that he wasn't seeing other people...
so here's my take on it...After going through all that...i can honestly say that I felt pretty worthless because I knew that I was giving more than what he was giving back to me. A lot of times I felt like I was being taken for granted. And it made me feel insecure, unhappy, unloved. it just wasn't normal. And I came to realize that I deserve someone who's going to be there for me and not be scared to commit to me. Now I know that sometimes the only way to get your point across is if you get up and just leave...to show him that you know your worth and are not afraid to leave him. YOu might get the response you want (which is for him to realize what he's got is worth keeping)...OR he might not even have a response to it at all. He might be indifferent, he might not even miss you. And as painful as it sounds...you're going to have to face the reality of what's really going on between you two.If you are looking for something serious but he really doesn't have any plans to stick around, then there's really no point in hurting yourself further. The truth hurts but it will definitely set you free in the end. That's just my opinion. But whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck. :)5