I don't want to sound rude but?

Okay. so I met my ex boyfriend's aunt yesterday...during our conversation, she asked if we were gonna marry (although we broke up 6 months ago, and he has a new girlfriend now)...Obviously, I said we were not together anymore (I don't know how she didn't know yet)...

Anyway, then she asked if I would like to have lunch with her...I said yes, BUT truth is that I felt awkward, because I don't really want to go...=/ she's adorable, but she only talks about him, and I don't like that...

so, would it be rude if I cancel the lunch, and then invite her to meet me at church (she's also christian), because at church, she won't be able to talk about him all the time...

Please, any advice? thanks :)

Updates:
Thanks everyone for answering.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It would not be rude to cancel your lunch, but it might be worth asking her what topic is on her mind. Maybe she needs a friend and she feels you might be a lifeline of emotional support. Her continued conversation about him might be because it is the only thing she thinks you have in common.

    Of course her agenda might be to try to get you two back together. She might not think the new girl is the right one for her nephew.

    Good luck,

    James

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What Guys Said 6

  • Is this a serious question?

    Just joking. This happened to me some years ago with a relative of an ex. I just thanked her for the invitation, declined, and as politelly as I could, told her that I was ok with my life and that she sould worry about her relative because I was ok. I liked this woman as a person, and knew she liked me in her family, but did not want to give my ex or her any expectations, so I declined.

    If you feel like meeting her again, just because you like that person, and as you have already agreed, go and see her. If she starts talking about your ex, tell her politely that you donĀ“t want to talk about him, and change topic. If she insists, and you made your point clear, you can always suddenly remember you have to go to feed the cat or made any excuse, and when you are leaving, let her know that althoug you like her, she should not invite you again if her only interest is talking about your ex.

    Your idea of canceling and inviting to the church seems also good, but les honest and straightforward to me.

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    • Hahaahahahah just because I asked if your question was serious....you're funny lol, and thanks for answering.

  • You don't have to cancel the lunch. You can tell her that you don't want to talk about her nephew during lunch. If you absolutely have to cancel the lunch, make up an excuse that is work or school related, probably work related is preferred. The only problem with canceling lunch is she might reschedule. If you don't care what she thinks about you, you could tell her that you think it is inappropriate for you to have lunch with an ex's aunt.

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  • is there any change that you two get back together ?

    cuz it sure sound like his aunt wants to get you two back together !

    and I've never heard of people inviting people to church, if that doesn't seem awkward to you, do it..

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    • Lol I think it's common invite someone to meet me at church, and thanks for your advice.

  • If you don't want to go to lunch with the woman, do not go... it really is that simple. If you want to go to church with her, then do it. But I really think that using a Christian Church as anything other than a place of worship during mass is a sinful thing to do. But as far as the get-together with his aunt; just do whatever feels right, because those feelings exist for a reason.

    Good Luck

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  • She invited you to join her for lunch after getting to know that you two broke up, so I don't think she would talk much bout him, and you should go to lunch with her, and even if she does talk bout him, then kindly request her to change the topic and tell her that you felt uncomfortable bout tht topic, I'm sure she'll understand.

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  • not rude.. but you can tell her you are with some1 else now and don't wanna talk abt ur ex

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What Girls Said 3

  • I would accept the lunch but during lunch if she kept bringing him up I would stop her after a few times and let her know that it was uncomfortable for you to talk about him, that you hope she could understand that. Then find another subject to talk about.

    If this does not go well, you will know not to accept a future lunch invitation from her.

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  • You should go but try to steer away from that topic. (If possible)

    Let her know that the two of you have separated..

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  • If it makes you feel any better I've had the same problems and once my bf's cousin talked to me for 2 hours (I thought he knew who I was since we'd been dating for a year and has seen me on my bfs Facebook etc) and then as we were saying goodbye he said, "what happened to your blonde hair?" his ex was blonde.

    It wouldn't be rude to cancel especially if you replace the lunch with something else. :)

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