Boyfriend broke up with me after together over 9 years, I need to know how to win him back. please help.

My ex and I were together for over 9 years and were both in love. He says that he still loves me but says two people can love each other and still not be together. He says he knows what he wants in life and knows that it takes time to get that. We had our problems but no one cheated on the other and no violence to let you know. He broke up with me in April and have not seen each other face to face since but have talked on the phone on weekends. He told me recently that it was hard on him to that he broke up with me, but then said that he was just throwing this in the air that I was "free" to date other people, that tore me up bad. Before that I was trying to just be friends and still hoping that we would get back together and I did not say anything about the relationship or anything. But after he said that it was like it set a lot in motion and I kind of got crazy with emails asking for us to work this out together and not to give up on us or me and let him know how much I loved him and if we could just sit and talk to see if we could find common ground. This is the exact response I got from him. Please tell me exactly what he is saying because to me I feel mixed signals. "I'm not intentionally ignoring you, I just don't have much time right now and maybe not until after, or near, the end of June. My job is really getting to me right now and, to be honest, my job is on the line. If I don't get this done, I will lose my job. I don't want to address the topics you've mentioned in your past emails, but I think we're on different phases. Don't get so caught up on what has happened and enjoy your time with Andrew. Make new friends, live life and make the most of it. I don't want this to be a continuous email chain because that too is time consuming, but please try to see things differently."...OK, that is the response that I got and after that I did not call him this weekend. Andrew is my son by the way. Andrew is 15, so as you can see that I am not a teenager but we still hurt at any age. Please help.. I just need someone to break it down for me in detail what he is saying in his email, I don't want to address the topics you have mentioned in your past emails, But I think were in different phases, But please try to think differently...I want to get back together with him and don't want to lose him. I just don't know what to do or where to begin, please help it hurts so bad.

Updates:
We have only been broke up since April 26th of this year.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you need to let him go so he can fix his life without you for the time being as the big picture goes...an expression to leave you with is that "if you truly love someone, then you can let that person go and that person will come back to you, a sign that he or she loves you; if that person does not return back to you, then it was never meant to be...he's not ready to settle down and that's the impression your pushing upon him right now, which isn't healthy if he's not ready for it...how long it takes, has no deadline and that's all up to you if you're willing to wait

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    • He has said several times he is ready and after living together once I moved to another state and he told me he was ready for me to come live with him again and get married, I moved down here & in 6 mos he broke up & got back together then again but this time won't see me face to face cause said to hard & needs time to move past first, so I picked up, moved here and now this, have been here 2 years now but he has never stayed away from me and has always came back but this is the longest & feels dif

    • If you really want to stick this guy out then just keep trying until you reach a point where it is either hopeless or he concedes to you

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • hey may not love you that much sinc ehe is placing his job over you... and maybe he thinks you should do the same... I don't know... but that's how I would read it... good luck... just ask him straight up... do youl ove me more than anything? are you willing to commit forever for me? ask him if he can live without you? or does he want to live with you forever... just saying, be open and get the straight answers... because that will help you to move on... =S
    pray
    ask God to help you

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  • I think you are seeing mixed signals because you want there to be hope. But he is telling you to move on, he is saying that he is already moving on and you need to do the same. Really, he is being pretty clean in that email I think.

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    • What does he mean by he doesn't want to address what I have said in my past emails, what does he mean by saying "but I think were in different phases, What does he mean by "but please try to think differently? Right now I don't mean to sound stupid but the pain is just interferring with my rational thinking and I just need someone to take the time to break down the email he sent me in detail.

    • 1. he is ready to move on and you are not. 2. he is trying to tell you to change your perspective on life or just the relationship between the two of you. He is telling you that he is moving on and since he cares about you he wants you to move on too.

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