if the cheated-on person never ever found out, what's so awful about it? there's the whole concept of loyalty, but why does that word have such a strict meaning? you can still be utterly loyal to and in love with someone, technically speaking, while satisfying yourself though other means.
I'm not talking about a full-fledged affair where you truly love someone other than your wife/husband/bf/gf. that's a completely different animal. I'm talking about a one-night stand with a hot stranger, or a FWB thing to satisfy yourself the way your partner can't, or someone who you meet up with while traveling (think vera farmiga's deal with George Clooney in "up in the air"), etc. and, again, hypothetically the cheated-on person would never find out (which I guess you could argue is never a certainty).
i ask this out of honest curiosity and confusion, not to find some way to justify myself. I have never and will never (haha, hopefully) cheat during any relationship, so please don't attack me for that.
and please don't give me anything about it being sinful. I'm not at all religious anyway, and those arguments mean next to nothing to me.
Most Helpful Guy
Primarily, because it's a breach of an unwritten contract between the people involved.
In an open relationship, both people give each other the privilege to be with others, etc. In a closed relationship, when cheating occurs, it's breaking the contract that you two will stay with each other and only each other. It shows that you are unable to hold up your end of the bargain, and that you cannot be trusted. Ask pretty much anyone, and they'll tell you that a relationship without trust is never a successful relationship.
Another factor is the results of sleeping with someone else. If my girlfriend slept with someone else, then I would definitely want to know about it. I'd make her get an STD test, and I would require a paternity test on any children she had. This, of course, is assuming that I stayed with her in the first place (which I probably wouldn't, due to the trust issue). If I were to cheat on my girlfriend, then it's likely that I could impregnate some other girl and catch an STD myself. I wouldn't blame her at all if she wanted me to get an STD test.4