I cheated on my wife while working out of state. I had to get an out of state job because I got laid off and couldn't find anything else, so I had to take a contracting gig.
Anyway, before I left I was feeling very down. My wife wasn't talking to me as much. She would take 30/45 mins to answer texts or return a phone call at 10at night. I felt horrible. On the weekends she began showing little interest and I began feeling very insecure. I texted a girl for a week and exchanged two dirty photos and we ended up going out to dinner, a bar and messing around.
She found out by looking at my text logs and calling that girl and found out everything. I completely stopped talking to that girl immediately and have been apologizing perfusely to my wife and expressing how regretful I am. Sending flowers, etc. She is super controlled by her dad and he brought her to a lawyer the next day to file for divorce. He moved her out of our house and back in with them. She won't have any communication with me except about the children, and it's been a month.
We have a 1 and 3 year old and it's tearing me apart that this family is ruined. What can I do to fix this? I feel like me apologizing is just annoying her now. How should I act to get her to give me another chance and get my family back?
Most Helpful Girl
Not all marriages can survive an affair.
Like myself your wife must have known that something was off to check your phone.
I can tell you what it feels like.
Like bomb is going off in your head.
The hurt is incredible and for me the pain was greater than anything else I have ever experienced, even childbirth hurt less.
Now at the time where she was showing little interest in you, this is when you should have turned to her.
She would've been feeling lonely without you during the week.
She needed affection and reassurance but instead you cheated on her.
Now I found out before my husband had sex with the woman that he was texting but it's still classed as an affair, they were so explicit.
For me I decided to stay put in the marriage and only time will tell if I made a good decision or a massive mistake.
This is after having marriage counselling and a hell of a lot of work on my husbands behalf.
We both know that our marriage will never be the same again.
Only time will tell if your wife will forgive you. if she does then you need to prepare to answer any questions, have a open phone, quit your job to find something closer and work bloody hard to repair the damage that has been done.1
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Most Helpful Guy
Do you not see the kids at all? You should be able to get some time with them. However the fact is... you cheated and she wanted to divorce you. Cheating on a spouse is a HUGE deal. Besides apologizing and doing what you did there isn't anything you can do to win her back. My best advice is just be the best father you can be to your kids and focus on that. Maybe she might see how hard you are trying with them and give you another chance. I don't know what else to tell you.1