How do I fix this grudge or get over the fact that she's not coming back?

There's this girl i like in high school. I became friends with her over a few months, although it was kind of one-sided. She was a really nice person. Early January (after about two or three months of being friends) I tell her I like her. Neither of us have any experience with this stuff at all so I was awkward about it and she didn't know how to respond. Later I texted her to get her opinion on the situation and she said no. After this response I was sad, naturally, so I sent an email to her filled with my emotions the next day. She responded really nicely, even saying I had a chance with her if anyone did. (Four months later I find out that she didn't really mean it like that. She just didn't want to hurt me.) Because of this email, I started trying to do more stuff with her. We don't have much in common so it was really hard to find stuff to do. We used to just play videogames online together, but now I was trying to do something like hang out. She is an introvert and treasures her alone time, which I didn't know. I knew she was an introvert, but I didn't know how precious alone time was to her. She started getting angry with me trying to do stuff with her and I didn't pick up on it for a few weeks since she kept saying "i'm busy" and that she didn't know when she would be free, so I kept asking hoping she'd be free. Eventually she started saying "i want to be alone" instead, since I figured out that was the problem and asked her to tell me that rather than lye (i didn't say it like that). I started trying to stop, but I was going crazy since we stopped playing games together, I was scared of losing her, and I liked her like crazy. This took too long to get over and now, after not talking to her as much, she's holding a grudge that will, from the looks of it, never go away and it's killing me because I know I caused it, although she kind of caused it by accident with the email. Now she won't talk to me, and it seems like a grudge. [question in title]


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  • Be straight forward and ask her what's wrong. Fights and grudges happen because of lack of communication so try to figure it out!

    • There is a lot of details I couldn't fit in the post. I was doing that during the time things started falling apart, but she never told me anything. I tried to "schedule" a conversation multiple times, but that didn't happen because she would avoid them. Part of the issue seems like it could be how she reacts to problems.

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    • If she acts reluctant to talking to you and solve things out, let her be. Don't try to force an agenda on her then. You just back off and let her come to you when she's ready to talk. No use in trying to solve things if one end is not cooperating.

    • Ok, thanks.

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