How to turn down a guy gently?

This guy liked me and I lead him on because I was stupid and confused the "I like u as a person and as a friend" with actual romantic interest. In the last 5 days he seem to like me way more than I like him. Already saying I'm crazy for him, I'm his, I can't run away because he holds me. And so on. We dont text or talk in those 5 days he just holds me so is just physical and little contact.

This past 3 days I been distant, not letting him touch me or be to close. Now he never ask me out. And now that I'm distant but close (cuz I still care for him as a friend). Anyways today he said if I liked to go to somewhere expensive. And I rejected the offer, it seem like everyone took it as a joke so I don't know if he was serious.

But yea. How do I turn him down? What should I say? Not in text cuz thats cold although it would be easy for me since I dont have to see him. Specially since in his mind he thinks I'm crazy in love with him which I'm not.

Updates:
Do I wait for him to lead up to the question or do I tell him there on?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you're probably going to lose him as a friend. To keep him in your life you either stay the way you are or date him. he's too emotionally invested in you to go back to friends. If you do want it to stop, then be honest. If i were that guy after you friendzone me, id cut off all contact for good. If i was as emotionally invested as him, i wouldn't be happy seeing you with anothee guy.

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    • I feel he just started to like the idea of dating since I would have been his first girlfriend... But like I said we don't talk or text and I like him as a friend. His friend and him both liked me. Is like they were taking turns in flirting me. But just because I let him hold my hand when we (group if friends) went to a concert, thinks that I'm his.

      I mean... I don't know is like he maintains an idea of me but we don't text and talk so I dont think he is that imvested in me specially in less than 5 days

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    • About 4 months. We didn't truly talk until 3-2 months tho

    • He probably has liked you since you first met. There was no friendship here just a guy wanting to date you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • you need to be direct because he's wrapped up in an emotional bubble. Sit him down, be kind but be direct. Good luck

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What Guys Said 8

  • "sorry im not interested"

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    • But I lead him on. Okay. He didn't ask for my number he told his friend to talk to me so he can get my number. Then. He doesn't say anything. One day he holds my hand and thinks that I'm his. So in those past 5 days I was like. He is a good friend I like him it could work. But it doesn't. So I don't know how to tell him now

  • Why not just say this? Why does either sex avoid saying what they're thinking in these situations? You're worried about his feelings, not yours at all for some reason. I'd rather be bumped by being told the actual reason than be dumped by being told something like its just not going to work out, or whatever.

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    • I'm bad at starting this type of conversation. I usually try to avoid the person until they say something or gets the message

    • That's exactly what the last one to dump me did, I am still pissed at the way she handled it. I would have respected her if she just would have told me instead of me having to find out by facebook posts and then finally by me asking where we stood.

  • Yeah no easy way to do it, just be 100% honest - dont leave him any unanswered questions then he can have closure and move on easier!

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    • Do I come up to him and say it? Or do I wait for him to say something first? Because we dont talk at all, unless in groups and even then we dont talk. He just hilds my waist or hand

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    • Yea after this weekend and this past 3 days I been dist and and telling him to not hold me. Yet he makes comments here and there that "I'm heart for him"

    • yeah you just need to be firm, tell him its strictly a friends only deal or nothing at all and friends doesn't include holding hands or cuddling etc.. good luck with this! justt make sure you are firm and dont leave him thinking he has a chance

  • There isn't any way you're gong to let him down gently. You're going to have to just be honest, then deal with the consequences.

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    • Well I don't want to say. "sorry I lead u on, but I confused liking u as a friend with actual like, let's just stay friends?"

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    • Yea well I don't know tomorrow is the last day of school. Is going to be hard. Hopefully he takes it well... I mean. We don't text or talk... I think he was just infatuated

    • Well, you can hope. Just explain it to him the best you can. Be honest, be sincere, and be apologetic.

  • tell him directly

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  • Just tell him to fuck off, he won't understand if you keep be respectful towards him.

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  • Tell. Him he deserves better...

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  • Fuck his dad. That'll show the young snot that you mean business.

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