Is my take on cheating weird?

I get mixed opinions on this..

I don't mind if a girl leaves me for another guy, A lot of times the first question asked is, are you not p*ssed off? If you love them you'd be really angry! I say, no... If I actually care about them and their feelings I'd be happy for them. I mean if being with someone else makes them happy I'm not going to be a selfish jerk about it and drag her down because I can't cope with it. I mean sure I'm upset/sad but I'm not going to let it get me down and I'm not going to tell everyone that I'm sad or p*ssed off. A lot of people just say to me, would I not like to punch the guy, or slag the girl off? I mean geez why would I? It's not his fault she likes him and not her fault he likes her.

I don't see why people think it's weird, As I said yes I'm upset, but I'm not angry. I just accept it and move on, I'm not going to mope about it either... Again I don't see why after I break up with someone that I have to remain single for a certain amount of time. If they expect me to cry over them for months how selfish does that make them? I just try to get on with things and find the next great person.

Sorry if it's a bit ranty, I just had an evening discussing this... I've probably forgotten some, so I might add an update later.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • HAHA. I thought I was weird to be like that too. I don't fuss over breakups. In fact, I'd just move on and I've never wanted to drag anyone down just because they decided to leave me. I think doing something like that is selfish because it'd be all about you. Your feelings. Your loss. Your shame. Your ego. etc. If someone doesn't want to be with me anymore, I'd respect that and try to cope with it because it's his decision. Everyone knows what is best for himself. I am quite selfless when I truly love someone. I think you're like that too question asker. I also think that when you're p*ssed off when someone leaves you for another person it means that you're being insecure, uncertain and afraid. You feel like you're losing your direction and you let your fear control your emotions. I am quite in touch with my emotions so when I started to feel like that. I knock myself off and move on.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • No, I pretty much agree with what you've written. If I care about someone, I want them to be happy, and I also don't want someone to be with me if they don't want to be. Sure, it would hurt to have someone I care about tell me they don't want to be with me and would rather be with someone else, but I don't think its anyone's fault.

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  • I don't think it's a weird stance at all. My fiance has the same feelings on the subject. In my opinion while it sucks that it would seem that he doesn't care, it's rather selfless of the person. I'm not sure if you are the same but he always says he wouldn't let me see how much pain he was in because my happiness is more important, and he wouldn't want me to feel bad for making myself happy while making him miserable.

    I say good for you!

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  • I think that's because you have a great self-esteem, you probably don't have any problems being alone, or being criticised by others, because of a great self-conscience. I guess a lot of people wish to be like you. You sound like a buddhist; detachment is really the only path to achieve true happiness in our lives. keep going;)

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    • I wish I did have self esteem, I'm actually very self hating... I like very little about myself. I do admire buddhists to an extent though.

  • It's a bit weird, but it's actually a very mature and positive way to look at things. IF I was cheated on; I'd mainly be p*ssed at the fact that s/he didn't have the balls to break up with me first. I understand leaving someone for someone else but if you're cheating on the person you're with, why put them and yourself through that ?

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    • I've been in previous situations were I was tempted to cheat, I didn't cheat but I completely understand how people can be drawn in. I'd still only leave it as upset... I mean cheating or leaving me, either way the result is going to be the same...

    • Show All
    • I guess everyones different, I've had to get used to it... I can't lie, I did used to be p*ssed... BUt about the third or forth time it just lost meaning to me. I don't see why I should let it upset me and hinder progression of my life when clearly nothing is going to happen with the past.

    • I'm not saying hold onto it, I think it's good when people can accept things and move on. :P

  • i agree! ;)

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  • i don't think its weird at all, I wish I could be like that lol. I think its cool that you don't care so much

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  • in my opinion yeah. I would be p*ssed if a guy left me for another girl. that's like they basically were just using you for "in the moment" and when they found someone better they dropped you like a bad habit. I would feel used

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What Guys Said 4

  • I have never been cheated on so I can't talk from personal experience, but I agree with your stance on a girl leaving you for another guy. However, if a girl is cheating on me with another guy that she really wants to be with, I would rather her just break up with me. It makes no sense to cheat when you can just end the relationship and start over with someone else.

    What I don't understand or accept is cheating on someone and then wanting to stay with the person you were originally in a relationship with. Either you want to be with the new guy or you don't. Do people really think that they can be with both guys?

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  • No, not at all weird. Your being mature and you seem to be optimistic about your love life.

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  • Read this, I think it's a good example of what happens if you have that attitude:

    link

    I don't know exactly why that is so, but I can see by example that the line of logic you presented is faulty somewhere. I really wish I could put my finger on it.

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  • “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.”

    tupac

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