Please help.

Well.. me and my ldr girlfirend just met in real life for the first time last weekend.. it was great.. we both had a great time. This week she went back to acting normal, getting on webcam every night and talking on the phone with me everynight. Then.. last night she called someone else instead but still got on webcam with me... well.. when I was waiting for her to get off the phone so I could call her, I called my guy friend.. we talked then my phone rang so I hang up on him...

I answered the phone.. she turned off her webcam and said "Please don't hate me... we have to talk.."

"about what? (voice cracking)"

"us"

"w-what about us?"

sielnce

"Autumn?"

"sorry.. I'm thinking.."

"okay..."

silence...

"Autumn.. are you breaking up with me?"

"... mhmm..."

why would she randomly break up with me!? she said she wants to be single for a little while so she can think things through or something.. but then she keeps telling me she still loves me...

I'm so confused.. if she loves me why break up with me? Why put both of us through this? She didn't seem to affected by it.. I could tell she was crying a little.. but.. Idk... we talking on IM for a little while.. I felt like I was going to cry.. but I couldn't for some reason...

The only bad thing that happend to us all week except for taht was her mom said she can't come visit... so...

She said she doesn't want to call it a break this time because she's not sure how long it will take or if she'll still feel the same about me when its over... she really loved me.. I know.. she said she wanted me to marry her.. she kept telling me how I'm The One.. and how I'm the only guy for her... how I'm her best boyfriend ever and the only one that she'd ever take home to her parents...

Why would she randomly break up with me? Does she really still love me? Do you think its possible for us to get back together when she's done thinking things through?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, it sounds to me that while she liked your online/on the phone self, when she met you in real life, she decided for some reason or another (maybe your real life personality or your physical appearance) that she wasn't interested in being with you.

    Online relationships are tricky like that. You can end up feeling really close to someone and having an attraction to them, but that doesn't mean the attraction is going to transfer over to real life.

    For that reason, I would try not to get too involved/too serious with someone you only know online.

    I think you can "fall in love" with someone you know only online, but I think it's hard to actually love someone until you've spent a significant amount of time with them in person.

    I can't speak to whether or not she really loved you or if she's going to get back together with you, I can only speculate on what she was thinking, but really, I have no idea. Maybe it was simply the fact that she was told she couldn't visit you again (that makes having a relationship with you very difficult, especially if you are hoping to move your relationship to the offline world). Or maybe it was what I said before, she met you and just wasn't feeling it.

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    • She kept telling me how amazing the weekend was and how she can't wait for me to go visit or her to come visit...

    • Show All
    • Well its not like she didn't know what I looked like.. and we both acted just about the same in person as we did online. Must be something else.. she did always have some areas she wouldn't talk about... probably has to do with one of those.

    • VERY GOOD ANSWER , shellfishstars....

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What Girls Said 2

  • Oi, I'm tired of people talking bad about online relationships. I'm in one, using webcam, and I've met him in person once(will again soon) and things are quite wonderful. We've known each other for just over a year as of yesterday and have been dating for seven months as of monday. Now, as for the whole change of heart...I've had a lot of ups and downs with this relationship. The uncertainty can eat away at you more than most relationships. If it weren't for our persistance in being open about all feelings and worries then we wouldn't have made it this far. Communication is important. I've been close to it a few times, ending all of it, but when I talked it out with him I felt better and we came to a conclusion that eliminated my worries every time. She may not be very open, or she may have faced one of the LDR walls that I did and out of fear, confusion or worry, she just gave up. I say give her some time, and then in a bit when you're feeling better, try talking to her about it. Querry her feelings, and explain how you feel. When you're both open about it, it might hurt less, or more, but you'll at least get some closure. I wish you good luck~

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  • she has major issues hun. ANY body, male or female, that says you are The One without EVEN meeting them in person, knowing how they act in REAL LIFE, not just on WEBCAM and over the phone- is living in la- la land.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah I don't really know why she suddenly broke up with you it might be she wanted to all along just was too scared too didn't really know how to handle it so she just played along with it even with all the marriage bullsh*t. You can't really sit there and think about what she said or what not girls change their feelings and mind all the time. You just need to give her the space she needs don't contact her let her do her own thing when she's ready she might come back if not then she doesn't. She might get back with you but It might not be the same as before. Right now you can't do anything the ball is her court you can either be strong and move on or cry a river over her bullsh*t. good luck

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