He didn't respect me, he criticized me a lot and wanted me to improve. I improved after he left me. Why couldn't I do it when we were together?


My ex-bf (30) and I (22) had a good year and a half relationship in the beginning. He was my first love and first relationship. We gave to each other, but it was very bumpy after the 5th month.

Our biggest issue was communication. He said I did not listen to him when he was trying to improve me. He claims all the women who were in relationships with him improved in some way with his help, but I felt uncomfortable with it. Whenever I wronged him I always apologized and never did it again, but he always thought he was right.

I used to be very messy and unorganized and he said that the way someone's environment is is how their mental state is. He always said I was lazy but I am a full time college student. I had more spare time than him since he was a student with two part time jobs.

Almost a year ago, he broke up with me by not saying a word. He just disappeared. He used to disappear sometimes for a few days but this time it was for two weeks. I was worried about him and called him, but after seeing him post on Facebook and seeing that he was fine, I knew it was his way of telling me its over.

He reached out to me after three months and acted like nothing happened. I said it is best if he leave me alone. A few months after that he tried to follow me on social media whereas before he didn't.

Now, I'm still working on my degree and will be receiving my bachelor's degree next year. I'm currently helping my family's business by designing and eventually maintaining their website. I'm also currently on a weight loss and lifestyle change journey. This month has been the first time in four years when exercising did not feel like a chore. I actually enjoy the burn and the soreness.

So despite the disrespect and the criticisms, I still feel sad about how it all ended. He was right, but I still couldn't become a better person when in the relationship. Why am I feeling this way?

If you have any questions to better answer my question, feel free to ask.
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Thanks guys. All three of your opinions was great.
He didn't respect me, he criticized me a lot and wanted me to improve. I improved after he left me. Why couldn't I do it when we were together?
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