How do you find a way to forgive someone?

I recently went to this conference and this woman went into detail about how not forgiving someone is like eating rat poison and leaving the rat to live. This guy disappeared over 6 years ago from my life and every day I feel like I ate rat poison because I'm so angry and negative. But if he came back tomorrow, I would jump in his arms again. How do I forgive him for leaving me and let him go?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Forgiveness is a choice you make. If you are a Christian, it is not optional.. If you want God's forgiveness, you must forgive others.
    Forgiveness is like tearing up an I. O. U. You choose not to hold it against someone. You may still have unpleasant feelings towards the, but you choose not to let your feelings dictate your life. Feelings out to be like the tail on a dog. They are meant to follow the head - where the decision are made - not the other way around.
    Someone has well said that Forgiveness is nothing more than enlightened self interest. Your unforgiveness is much more destructive to you than the person you are refusing to forgive.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was really hurt when my first boyfriend dumped me because he did not want me being away at uni for another 2 or 3 years. I felt angry and cheated. Cold and empty inside.

    In less than a year, I started at a new uni. I met a terrific guy doing similar research to me. Within 4 weeks we were lovers, and now live together. He is so much better than the first guy.

    So go out and find a better one, too. They are out there somewhere.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Whenever you feel bitter or angry ask yourself if those feelings have ever made you feel better or improved your life in any way.

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  • It is consuming, hatred and bitter feelings causes stress and we all know what effects that have on the body and physical appearance. Why would you give anyone who is of no significance in your life to exort that much power over you and your happiness. It's easier to forgive AMD move on when you realize they never deserved you in the first place. It's like you being rich and driving a crappy ass car for three years. Why get upset and wage a life long war against Volkswagen when you knew you should have bought that Mercedez?

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  • Thats not healthy I think firstly you need some help getting over a guy who you where with, in high school of all that said.

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  • you don't. You should be ruthless to annoying schmucks and never forgive.

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  • It is very difficult to learn to do that. Especially of you care about the person a lot.

    But i found that offensive defence mechanism quite helpful. I say to myself that the way they treated me is so wrong on them, and it is so bad that they lost someone like me, who could be there for them and who will help them no matter what.

    Then i start to feel sorry for them, like sorry that he could no longer get a girl like you. And slowly, anger turns to sympathy.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Will never

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