My ex boyfriend & I got together within 6weeks of knowing each other. We had our first agruement soon after bcoz he wanted to get into illegal activity, I was against it and he threatened me and said 'you can't leave me if I can't have you no one can'. The next day I challenged him about it and he was defensive & said 'fine leave me and be with who you want' before saying 'you know what sorry' but something still felt wrong. I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship before and didn't want to ignore potential signs. I asked for space but he refused so we had a heated argument and I ended it. A week later I felt I had made a mistake. I called him and he agreed to try again but it was never the same. He resented and no longer trusted me. He was distant and would ignore my messages all day and blamed it on being busy. I knew it was bs. At this time I became very mean and naggy. I'd constantly send essay texts giving him ultimatums and being unsympathetic to his situation. He broke up with me after a while bcoz he didn't want 'this anymore'. In a couple weeks we were back trying bcoz we missed each other. Sadly, he was still distant so we hardly spoke. I felt so rejected and I was constantly crying. I poured out my heart in a message. He called me & we spoke for 6hours, he apologised for everything, said he didn't want to lose me etc. The convo ended positively. I saw him the next day and during sex he said 'are you going to leave again' which was awks. He was distant after sex but we went for a lovely walk hand in hand afterward & I really thought our relationship was on the mend. He text me the next day saying he's working so we'd speak later. After 24hours I rang & he was so cold & said 'im not on that Romeo shit'. He ghosted me after that. I was shocked. I blocked him for 3 weeks but unblocked bcoz he put money in my account. I rang to ask why & his friend answered mocking me. I'm so embarrassed & sad. Is it my fault for leaving in the first place? I still care.