... this is mostly for the ladies, but also for guys (who have cheated on their girlfriend(s) before in the past).

-* ladies, have you ever been cheated on? if so, how did you find out and how many times had your partner cheated on you before you finally knew? ... did you have that whole intuition/gut feeling thing you couldn't get rid of, or were you completely taken by surprise? did your partner get caught up by being stupid (lying about where they were, text messages etc)? what were some signs/red flags that you noticed? .. and most importantly, and I know this is going to probably be a dumb question but I genuinely want to know (because I think I've been cheated on but am not 100%), how did you feel?

-* and for the guys, if you have cheated on your girlfriend (or ones in the past), what was your REASON for doing so? was it because your current girlfriend wasn't "good enough"? .. was she not doing something (sexually or emotionally) that you felt needed to be done so you had to go elsewhere for it? did you feel guilty about it or was it something you didn't think twice about? was the girl you cheated on your partner with someone you knew (a friend) or someone random (one night stand style)? and most importantly, what were some of the signs you showed that you were cheating (like did you act/dress differently, were you less interested in sex, were you more protective/secretive about her looking in your phone,did you pick more fights etc)?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, I have been cheated on. This is an extremely long question but I will simply reply

    that when your stomach feels like it's in a big knot - something does NOT feel right - you sense something is wrong, you are usually right 99% of the time. A cheating guy will treat you differently than he did when he was focused on you. ONCE should be enough. Do NOT count how many times he did it. ONCE is plenty! People don't cheat because of something you did/didn't do - they cheat because they have no integrity, are liars, sneaky, disrespectful, and do not deserve your time. It is not about how good looking the other girl was. If he wanted to date someone else - he would TELL YOU ( if he had any honor) instead of sneaking around behind your back. They lie - don't return your phone calls very fast, if ever - they are not very attentive to you ( maybe ignore you for days at a time) - don't make you feel special, start to criticize you until you feel that you can't do anything right - don't make plans with you anymore - keep answers short - don't compliment you... Do you get my drift? They are no longer interested.. IF he is a player...that is a different story. He is still a cheat - but he will still tell you a bunch of b.s. to keep you around until you catch him. Best test is to figure out if what you're feeling is good. If not? LOSE HIM.. AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • new clothes, underwear, more attention to personal appearance, grooming. accuse you of cheating, lock you out of phone, email, fb and ms. More time at work or with friends. They might start having more sex with you to compensate...

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What Girls Said 11

  • I never actually caught my boyfriend actually cheating cheating...I caught him responding to cragislist ads of females, and posting ads, and calling/texting girls he didn't even know...and a few other things down the road...I've always said intuition is my 6th sense, and I was right on point every time. You can feel it. He constantly checked his email, if I came in the room, he would quickly close it, his phone was on silent, he hardly used his phone around me, and after awhile he started just being distant and went out a few nights and didn't invite me and stayed out all night. I knew it every time...I could even go on craigslist and act like I was a diff girl, pick his post out just from my gut and sure enough it would be him responding...go with your gut...if you let him walk all over you, you'll be where I'm at, 2yrs down the road, don't trust him, and argue often...lotta heart ache...im bout to fix my problem though ...be strong

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  • mm yes I have. he cheated on me with .. mmm ... 4 people if I remember right. I was totally taken by surprise. he was quite good @ it sadly enough. the dumb ass came right out and told me he was dating a bunch of other gurls when he was dating me. he told me after 8 months.

    it felt horrible. I was p*ssed as hell @ him. but then at the same time I felt stupid. the whole "how could I have not known"

    and heart broken ... because ur all like "i trust yew!"

    yeah ... little piece of info. don't completly trust a guy the first time you meet him. make him build his trust with you.

    beLIEve ... nuf said

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  • I was cheated on before. I'm not sure how many times it was. I was heartbroken because it wasn't that long after we told each other that we loved each other. It was sad and depressing. There were a lot of curse words since my friend was the one he was cheating on me with.

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  • I have written extensively about this guy on my blog here. I just found out in february that he got married and had a baby... he never told me he even had a girlfriend. I always wondered why he was so distant... but he was busted by his my space page giving up the info. my friends found out, I confronted him and he only emailed me about it and those emails were sent t his wifes family. I am sure he is not happy about it... but I don't care anymore. My friends started another blog about this situation they were so upset and then they found a friend of his wife on the internet and told her all about it and then they gave her my email and I told her everything cause he was still denying it.

    I loved him. We had dated 2007 but were friends still but when we saw each other we would always have sex and I found out some of the times were right before he got married and then right after he got married, and the last time was a month before his baby was born. What an idiot he is... I hope his wife dumps his a++

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  • Yeah, he did once (I'm sure more than once).. I didn't find out at all.. He just came out and told me.

    I would say there was a bit of a change but it wasn't like a red flag though, that I knew of anyways.

    He was more jumpy when it came to phone calls and texts that he was receiving/sending, I'm not a nosy person so again it didn't bother me.. It was a 2 year relationship.. I thought nothing of it because I trust him. You don't wanna be paranoid which can ruin the relationship even more..

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  • Ive been cheated on and have cheated. I found out because it was in high school and all high school is drama.

    Why I cheated in the past was because it was fun. The excitement. Not that they weren't good enough.

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  • Yes I've been cheated on by my current boyfriend last year with his ex.

    I found out through my friend and the ex's boyfriend.

    He only did it once

    YES I had a gut feeling. I told him it and he said I was just over reacting.. and than it happened.

    He lied, and two days after it happened, my friend told me and the ex's boyfriend admitted too it by saying she told him straight out the night before.

    There was no signs, just my feelings..

    I felt like sh*t, I felt horrible, I became depressed (I still am a bit) and I have no confident at all in my body.

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  • Most men are dirty!

    But a lot of times its hard to tell if there's cheating involved...every man has his own little 'games' when it comes to cheating so you may notice different things than the next female.

    *Mine started with the texting and pictrure messaging ...others may be blind of the fact!

    It didn't take me long to put two and two together because it was plain as day...

    I know my reply probably didn't help much...but you just have to play the detective role (if you really care)

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  • Twice, same girl both times, a week apart. Oh boy did I have a gut feeling--I didn't even need to ask if he did it, I just asked him to confess. That's not always reliable, though, and the only reason I knew something was off was because he started acting really weird around me. I just put 2 and 2 (and 2 and 2 and 2...) together. I felt betrayed, but because of circumstances in our relationship at that time, not especially surprised, and I couldn't even blame him. It was the first time he'd ever cheated in his life, and his exes have assured me that's true. Her, however, I would rip to shreds if we ever met.

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  • my boyfriend cheated on me and I knew it in my gut...you really can't explain it buut you just know. listen to your heart...you will know. dump the d*** head!

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  • I was cheated on by both my previous boyfriends... the worst part is I fell into that "I knew but was to afraid to do anything about it" category...

    my ex's both used to abuse me physically mentally and emotionally... red flags and sirens went off all the time telling me to go, get away he's hurting you... doing you wrong... it was the way he acted around these girls would push me out of the way to talk to them just so much crap and it was hard for me because he made me feel like I had no one that would help me... and wouldn't let me talk to my friends

    yet everyone knew I needed to get away... end of story by the time I got out of it the number of girls he cheated on me with was about 20... and all 20 knew I was his girlfriend and what he did to me and not one cared... it sucked but now the guys have criminal charges for abuse on them so... in the end I didn't think I could care... 2 years wasted of my life...

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