My best friend has been cheating on her now fiancé. Should I tell on my best friend?

Long story short. She ( let's call her melissa) is my best friend of 10years. She's a nice and friendly girl. She's smart but I feel lately she is not sure what the heck she is doing.
Melissa was in a 10year relationship which ended just a year ago. Officially it ended two years ago but she kept seeing him ( let's call him Carlos ) after their breaking and while she started dating the new guy/ fiancé ( let's call him jake). I've never Carlos. There was a time she moved out of the country and that's where she met Carlos and they continued dating after she came back to the US. The long distance took a toll on their relationship and so it ended or so I thought. A couple months later she began to date jake but continued seeing Carlos ( because he would make trips to the US on occasion) it wasn't till Carlos found out about jake that Carlos stopped seeing Melissa and a couple of months later we find out Carlos is getting married to this girl from his country and now Melissa has decided to get engaged to jake. Jake is from here and him and i have hanged on regular basis. He's a nice guy. He treats her well. I was never uncomfortable with knowing she was cheating till she told me she is going to marry jake.
I feel that she may be lost and it's not fair to start a journey like this when one can't be completely honest. Also I have a feeling she may still be cheating.
I personally would want to know if the person marrying me has cheated on me. I dislike pretending to be happy for them.


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What Guys Said 2

  • But is she still cheating? And do you know as a fact? I'd say yes if you actually know 100% that she is cheating.. Otherwise no.

    • I do not know for sure if she is cheating presently. I made it clear that im not happy with her decision to marry the guy and told her to reconsider. She says she loves him and thats why she is getting married. But it is kinda weird that her ex carlos is also marrying this year. I feel she is blind and is just trying to show off to her ex [They have a lot of friends in common since they were dating for 10 years] But how can i just show up to a marriage like that? She is a good friend, just a sucky girlfriend.

    • Well then that's a different story.. She sucks but I wouldn't say she's "cheating" per se...

  • This is a tough question not just for the reasons you stated, but he may not believe you. Do not think he'll just say thnx. and do the right thing and dump her. This may not be everyone's favorite answer but, I'm doing this. I'm not sure how you do this but send him an anonymous email. State the facts only and why you're doing it. Tell him you've met him a few times &... You don't have a crush on him I hope. This way you're not a snitch, you're not "jealous" of them getting married. It's just the easiest way out for you and hope you're never in this situation again. I was once, I was going to do this and partner calls me says "the weddings off, caught her cheating". I said really? Lol. It took me about 20 years to tell himI knew. GOOD LUCK!!😊

    • How did it go on your end? Did your friend get mad for keeping that secret? I'm not jealous or into Jake at all lol ugh no. but I think my uneasiness comes from my own family. Dad cheated on my mother many times before and after marriage. IT was an awful divorce. I think at first i was rooting for her because of how she managed to juggle two guys at the same time with social media and all... it was quite amazing but now i just feel that wow you want to marry this nice guy after doing all of that? She says she loves him and all but then why marry so soon? I think she should spend more time and see if she really loves jake and is not doing this just because her ex carlos is getting married as well

What Girls Said 1

  • HOnestly I might talk to your best friend. You're clearly worried about her wellbeing and you want what's best for her. It'll be hard for both of you but if she's really your friend she'll have to understand you're there for her

    • That's the thing. I have spoken to her about it. Once she told me she and jake were going to go to court this summer to get married, My view changed on the whole ordeal. Like i stated before, I was never bothered with her cheating on her boyfriend (she is my best friend and so i got her back) however, My view changed when her relationship changed to engagement. She was shamelessly cheating on the guy and now she wants to get married? Even the other guy Carlos was cheating on his rebound...

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