How not to hurt someone's feelings?

How do you tell someone you don't want to get too serious right now w/o hurting their feelings? She's a great girl & could probably have anyone she wants but I just don't want to get too serious with her now. I told her that in the beginning & I don't want to lead her on.


Most Helpful Girl

  • How great that you have such a kind heart and don't want to hurt this girl. To lie - or lead her on - would hurt her more as you know. If you are not seriously interested in her now - why would you be later? I think you like her... but you don't feel that special "something" where you have that feeling you want to be closer to her and know everything about her. If you want to continue seeing her - why not? Who says you have to get serious anyway? Just DATE - keep your options open. Not every girl has to be a relationship but if that is what you are seeking - definitely - let her go. Tell her... " You are a great girl - wonderful person - and it's been great getting to know you! Would love to remain friends with you if that's ok with you, but I'm not ready to have a relationship with anyone right now. I hope you can understand. "

    Again - I think it's sweet that you care so much as to not hurt anyone's feelings. I wish more guys were like you.

    • Your right I do like her. I decided to stay with her after all. The more time I spend with her the more I like her. Thanks for answering.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should be very honest with her and explain why you do not want to be in a relationship. You could start by telling her everything you really like about her. That way she won't think the problem is with her. Then follow it up by explaining how you feel. You could also tell her that you know she will find someone who is great for her, but you're just not that guy. I hope this helps. This is a difficult situation, but I know I would appreciate someone who is honest and straight forward.

  • ha, I am in that situation, as the girl! He told me in the beginning he didn't want to get serious because he is moving away for 2 years, and he had just got out of a 4 year relationship. He also said that if the circumstances were different, he would be totally keen. Sad thing is, I had already fallen for him. And now I am in love with him, and he is leaving the country in 3 weeks. He seems to be warming to me more. The last time we had one of those "talks" was about 2/3 months ago. Not sure what he is feeling now!

    But, if my guy is the same as you, in that he really likes her, but isn't ready to commit, it's nothing to do with the girl, right? Like, if you did want to be in a r/ship, you'd be with her? Just good to get a perspective from his point of view!


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