Serious question, I need best advice on dealing with the situation and maybe some insight?

Okay so my boyfriend of years broke up with me months ago and cut me out of his life completely. The end of our relationship was a little rough as we started arguing really frequently and it got too much. However during the last year of our relationship, things went sour. I lied to him and broke his trust as I had old pics of guys on my phone from my past, I knew I messed up and did everything in my power to make it right, changed my phone number deleted my social media, I was hurt that I hurt someone I loved, and I did everything to make him happy then I discovered he cheated on me and then I forgave him as I felt like equal now, although I did not cheat on him. Anyways he made barely any effort after he cheated and then I caught him texting another girl, I forgave him again. Things were okay, but I started getting really insecure as he became distant so we started arguing more and more which led to our break up. We always were bestfriends for years before dating so I didn't expect him to cut me out of his life. As soon as he broke up I started begging, the usual stuff as I was heartbroken. He would completely block me and ignore me but then we spoke a few times only because I contacted him first but he has been pretty cold and mean and doesn't care. I started to work on myself and becoming a better person, I changed myself and realised how immature/needy I was when I was with him and I grew a lot. I gave him space and time, and decided to reconnect a few days ago as I didn't want to lose what was important to me and someone I cared about. I apologised to him and took full responsibility for my own part, at first he told me he understood but then just switched the next day and started abusing me and calling me vulgar names and that he will always perceive me in that way, He keeps holding onto the past, and blaming me. No matter how hard I try, he won't give me an opportunity to show I've changed. He resents me so badly, Why won't he let go? When I forgave him
All I wanted to do was be civil


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm not certain, but it sounds like he may see you as a reminder of the shitty things he's done. You may be a reminder of him dropping a bollock on something, and he may resent the situation.

    If you can have a serious chat with him, try to do so. With it being a fairly long term relationship, it might be difficult, but it's something that needs to be done.

    Carry on with the self-improvement, though, but don't do it to impress him. Do it for yourself. At the very least, you can come out of the situation as a more mature, better person.

    Good luck dudey!

    • I didn't change for him or with intention of getting him back, I changed for myself and my future 🙂 Trying with him is just a bonus. Yeah he is very difficult and we actually did have a serious conversation and I asked for him to give a chance so I can show I have changed and he was hesitant and kept changing his mind, then we got on really well just liked we used to, and it felt great. Then today he just changed his mind telling me to leave him alone and that I'm a liar and I'm a hoe and that people don't change and he's heard this all before... but when we were together I wasn't ready, I was immature, I made dumb choices and I acknowledged those and truly apologised, I have never received an apology from him for cheating. Yet I'm the bad guy for trying to do the right thing? I really want to fix this but don't know how to as his last text went through me like a bullet, it was so hurtful that I couldn't even respond as I didn't know what to say...

    • I have never reacted nor called him one bad word, I'm nothing but respectful, kind and polite. I communicate rather than sulk and I'm direct and honest. Yet he keeps holding a grudge against me.. and I don't know how to change his mind

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