Serious question, I need best advice on dealing with the situation and maybe some insight?

Okay so my boyfriend of years broke up with me months ago and cut me out of his life completely. The end of our relationship was a little rough as we started arguing really frequently and it got too much. However during the last year of our relationship, things went sour. I lied to him and broke his trust as I had old pics of guys on my phone from my past, I knew I messed up and did everything in my power to make it right, changed my phone number deleted my social media, I was hurt that I hurt someone I loved, and I did everything to make him happy then I discovered he cheated on me and then I forgave him as I felt like equal now, although I did not cheat on him. Anyways he made barely any effort after he cheated and then I caught him texting another girl, I forgave him again. Things were okay, but I started getting really insecure as he became distant so we started arguing more and more which led to our break up. We always were bestfriends for years before dating so I didn't expect him to cut me out of his life. As soon as he broke up I started begging, the usual stuff as I was heartbroken. He would completely block me and ignore me but then we spoke a few times only because I contacted him first but he has been pretty cold and mean and doesn't care. I started to work on myself and becoming a better person, I changed myself and realised how immature/needy I was when I was with him and I grew a lot. I gave him space and time, and decided to reconnect a few days ago as I didn't want to lose what was important to me and someone I cared about. I apologised to him and took full responsibility for my own part, at first he told me he understood but then just switched the next day and started abusing me and calling me vulgar names and that he will always perceive me in that way, He keeps holding onto the past, and blaming me. No matter how hard I try, he won't give me an opportunity to show I've changed. He resents me so badly, Why won't he let go? When I forgave him
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All I wanted to do was be civil
Serious question, I need best advice on dealing with the situation and maybe some insight?
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