Should I contact my ex boyfriend? how would you respond?

I miss my ex boyfriend a lot. in the last couple of months he has contacted me a couple of times randomly to say hi, but other than that we don't have much contact. I have been thinking about contacting him, but my friends say that if he wants to get in touch with me and get back together he will. Do you agree? should I contact him?


0|0
1214

Most Helpful Guy

  • i will need to know how you broke up to give you a detailed answer but until then I'll just give you a kind of broad answer, in my own personal breakups I never stay in contact with them after we broke up because in most cases they really hurt me alot, or I'm ashamed to say it but I broke the heart of the only girl I had ever loved, I say this because in most cases if you had to break up there were probally problems that caused that, and getting back with your ex will likley cause those problems to reoccur if you get back together.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • My answer is NO, and I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth. If you two broke up than there was a reason for it. Getting back into the habit of seeing each other will end the lonliness temporarily and provide some comfort for you right now. However, further down the road in the future, the chances of you two having a lasting relationship are not good because you've already tried it. My advice for you is to stay strong during this hard time of missing him and being alone. Stay close to friends and family for comfort and company, and strive to find someone else who you feel is looking for the same things in life as you. Breaking up sucks, but time heals everything. Just be strong, and patient. I'm sorry you're going through this.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Girls should never ever listen to each others' advice because most of the time they have no clue what is really going on and give unstable and wrong advice.

    This being said, I think you know him more than anyone else and you know what you feel more than anyone else. Do what you think is right and not what your friend thinks. Listen to yourself and learn from your own mistakes rather than listening to your friends and missing out on something that MIGHT be great.

    Best of luck

    1|0
    0|0
  • He might not be ready to get back together, but he's showing he 's still thinking about you. so why not show him the same courtesy? I don't know why you broke up, but sometimes that is for the best--you can still have a friendship!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Absolutely not. Plenty of good non-exes out there without his baggage.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It takes two to tango right? Well text him one day and let him text back the next day and see what happens. If the effort is good and connection is great then hangout and see what happens

    0|0
    0|0
  • well it also depends how long you guys have been apart.maybe he just wanting to see how your doing and all noting bad with that to be honest but it all depends on how you feel about it.do you miss him a lot do you still have feelings for him?

    0|0
    0|0
    • We dated just under two years. We have been broken up just under two years. Altogether just over three years. I still have feelings for him, and part of me knows he still has feelings for me. Guess, I am just trying to really see where he stands, and if it is just for sex or not. I refused to sleep with him after the break-up, when it was over I cut everything.

    • Interesting well under 2 years I guess does still say a lot then.but would you guys still work it out even though after the whole breakup thing

  • This may be a horrible answer, but there is a very distinct possibility that he's just looking to hook up. When the mood strikes, he gets in touch and "tests the waters" to see where you stand. I know lots of people both male and females that have used that technique.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's what I am trying to figure out. How do I figure it out for certain?

    • Next time he contacts...hang out with him. If he tries to hook up with you that first time, then you'll know. If you tell him no, I want to hang out a few times till we know how we feel and he doesn't respond well or doesn't call you again, well then that's a pretty good sign. You just have to be strong enough to be able to say no to him a few times and see where that goes. Good luck!!!!

  • you should contact him simply because all guys aren't full of confidence some of them need a confirmation as a solid piece of evidence that he has a chance. give him a call and ease back into it slowly.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think yuh should, if yuh really love him. because yuh never know watts going threw his mind,

    watt if he's too scared to ask yuh watt he feels about yuh..

    it don't matter who has to take the first move... ask before its too late..

    dont wait...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Exs are usually exs for a reason, I'd say it depends on why he became an ex in the first place, if it's a bad reason I'd so no point in getting hurt/getting hurt again, is there?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes it's a good idea if you really be with him.

    If he has contacted you so he want to be with you again.

    But about your friends sometimes you can listen to your heart.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its necessary that, if he is your boyfriend then he should contact you, were in relationship so you both are equal whether he contact you or you contact him. Your friends are wrong, you should contact him because you are missing him you have feelings for him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why did you break up in the first place?

    0|0
    0|0
    • He broke up with me

    • Show All
    • Coming from a guy a bet the only thing he is ready for is sex. I know that's blunt, but we approach relationships differently. My advice is too keep your distance. I know it's hard because it sounds like a part of you wants a relationship with him really bad.

    • Being blunt it great. I guess you really did answer my question though, that if he is ready for anything more, other than sex he will let me know. because at this point I don't want to be the girl that sleeps with her ex and settles for less so I am going to keep away from that. thanks for the input and honesty

What Girls Said 12

  • If you want to contact him just to say hi and talk and NOTHING else, then go for it. Him contacting you to say hi says that he's fine with keeping in touch and it isn't one of those situations where he's completely ignored you/pushed you out of his life. There's nothing wrong with keeping in touch if you're on good terms.

    However, if you want to get in touch with the hopes of getting back together eventually, don't get in touch. From what you've said, him keeping in touch off and on is just him wanting to say hi. He still cares, but he seems fine with the current situation if he's okay with once in awhile. You need time to get over the break up and constantly exposing yourself to him could just hinder the whole healing process.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't do it... Especially if he's the one that broke up with you. You don't want to seem too desperate. I had the same problem with my ex, and I played a little hard to get (when I really wanted to be back together with him) and that made him realize how much he missed me/wanted me back. We eventually got back together, and he contacted me first. While we were broken up, though, I had to CONSTANTLY fight the urge to call him and tell him I still love him. It's hard, but if you guys are meant to be together, you'll find a way. I wish you the BEST of luck! I know exactly what you're going through... Hope this helps :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks. Were things good when you got back together?

    • Show All
    • Thanks : ) we were apart for 6 months. he got a new girlfriend and everything and I was hung up on him the whole time, it was really hard, especially because we were still best friends and I had to sit and endure him talking about her

    • How did you forgive him after that? what made him come around? thanks for sharing

  • well, you said he contacted you to say hi, but you ask if you should now wait to contact him :D

    He did contact you. So he still wants to speak to you at least. Contact him. Wish you best of luck, and hope it works out fine!:)

    2|0
    0|0
    • I didn't read all cos I've only one thing to say...girls and guys text ex partners when they are bored and lonely. It doesn't mean they want to get back with u.

      My advice...move forward. If, you happen to SEE him and sparks fly try it.otherwise....miss him alone and don't go humiliating yourself....listen to On the Mend by Foo's and get over it.

  • Maybe he wants to get back together with you, and his friends are saying, "If she wants to get in touch with you and get back together, she will." Really, I think you need to act like an adult, contact him, and be completely honest about how you feel. Then, you will either get back together, or you'll know that you won't get back together and be free to move on. Either outcome is preferable to any more of this immature game-playing. I'll be hoping things work out for you.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Did he hurt you bad enough to where you two can make things work again? If your past problems are more than you think you can forgive him, or him forgive you for, then don't bother keeping contact. It is really hard to separate yourself from someone you loved. If you think that you two can work things out and have a future together, then be blunt about it next time he contacts you. Ask him if he has feelings for you so you don't have to keep wondering and beating yourself up for it. Remember that communication is very important in a relationship. . .

    0|0
    0|0
  • def, I think your friends are right. if he wanted to get back together he would of already made a move. I'm in a similar state with my ex, and we broke up a few months ago. I don't think you should contact him. it makes it worse in my experience. you need to get over him and find someone who wants to be with you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i was in this Situation and I just do what my mind tell me and I sent message asking him about his life he answered me by message and tell me that he if fine and asked me about my life and about my study but I won't from him to get back with me I just contact him

    0|0
    0|0
  • gurl..i can understand how you feeling...you can ofcourse contact him..there is no harm I it..but if you want to get back togeather dan I say that you should think over about how you guys relation where and how you guys broke off...its alys betta to think twice, thrice...and decide..but there is no harm in having a contact with ex but make sure you call him rarely...

    0|0
    0|0
  • One of the things you need to consider is why your relationship ended in the first place. Whatever the reason for it ending, there means there was something wrong. You may be missing the IDEA of him, and the memories you had. But you should be out there and having fun and exploring other options. Don't go crawling back to him if he broke your heart.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would ask him in a text why he is texting you...and go from there.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well do you still have feelings for him I'll say he still likes you or cares for you so he probaly wants to know what's going on with you if you can just call him and ask him what's up ir text him randomly and say hi too

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm having the same prob with my ex. We talk periodically just to say HI, but it's not where I want to be. Ultimately I want to get back together with him, and I really don't know if just talking to him as a friend is helping.

    On the one hand, yes you are keeping lines of communication open and letting him know you still care for him. But he might very well just be content with this situation. Think about it, he still gets to talk to you and get his fix but still can do what he wants to without the relationship.

    I think if you truly want him BACK as a bf, and I'm trying this myself, is to break all contact with him. Don't contact him at all. If he contacts you, keep it friendly and brief, and get off the phone first. And don't return his call the same day, wait a day. But I think he needs some time without talking to you to TRULY miss you. I hope it works out for both of us and everyone in this situation.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I learned in psych 001 that absence makes the heart forget, so I don't know how completely cutting off contact with someone will make them miss you. if you have an explanation for this, I'm all ears.

    • Show All
    • So you could do the no contact thing.if you want. But I would just judge it by your recollection of often he would contact you and want little more than amount of time. But you said he has already text you which the leave door wide open for you to text him. So if I were you I would go for. You'll never know if don't do anything.

    • Bbop345....there is also a saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder...."

Loading... ;