Serious question, please help. My heart is breaking. What can I do to make this right?

Okay so my boyfriend of years broke up with me months ago and cut me out of his life completely. The end of our relationship was a little rough as we started arguing really frequently and it got too much. However during the last year of our relationship, things went sour. I lied to him and broke his trust as I had old pics of guys on my phone from my past, I knew I messed up and did everything in my power to make it right, changed my phone number deleted my social media, I was hurt that I hurt someone I loved, and I did everything to make him happy then I discovered he cheated on me and then I forgave him as I felt like equal now, although I did not cheat on him. Anyways he made barely any effort after he cheated and then I caught him texting another girl, I forgave him again. Things were okay, but I started getting really insecure as he became distant so we started arguing more and more which led to our break up. We always were bestfriends for years before dating so I didn't expect him to cut me out of his life. As soon as he broke up I started begging, the usual stuff as I was heartbroken. He would completely block me and ignore me but then we spoke a few times only because I contacted him first but he has been pretty cold and mean and doesn't care. I started to work on myself and becoming a better person, I changed myself and realised how immature/needy I was when I was with him and I grew a lot. I gave him space and time, and decided to reconnect a few days ago as I didn't want to lose what was important to me and someone I cared about. I apologised to him and took full responsibility for my own part, at first he told me he understood but then just switched the next day and started abusing me and calling me vulgar names and that he will always perceive me in that way, He keeps holding onto the past, and blaming me. No matter how hard I try, he won't give me an opportunity to show I've changed. He resents me so badly, Why won't he let go?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's you who need to let go. Your relationship went wrong, and you parted. Just because you have changed doesn't mean he has, and the things he resented he still resents. Move on. There will always be others. When you find one don't let your actions drive him away.
    Good luck. You sound like a nice person, in that you were willing to learn from your mistakes, but you can't make others do so.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • he is being rude for no reason. he is trying to get rid of you so give him a lot of space. even if he comes back if it was me I would never be friends with him again. forgive but never forget. never trust him again. thats the wise thing to do. he knows that you'll just wait around for him. he cheated and called you names. you should move on because he has taken you for granted.

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    • But I messed up too, and he blames everything on me. I'm trying so hard to fix this, I really don't wanna lose out on our friendship out of everything. He just keeps holding that grudge against me for what I did but I forgave him for what he did

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    • I really wished that was the case but he has way too much ego to ever come back, that's why I always make the effort, I'm so afraid of losing him forever. He didn't even respond to my text ☹️

    • you have done your part. if you have made all the effort you could then just leave him be and move on thats your only option now. he seems like he wants nothing to do with you. leave it up to god and relax. I know its harsh but seems like this is what he wants. because I think no matter if its a guy or a girl, when people dont reply to somebody's text its either that they're busy which doesn't seem to be your case, or that they're very much hurt by sonething you did or they just hate you and dont want to talk tou you.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's time to write a new chapter in your life...
    Turn the page...
    Remember the ways you messed up this time and try to avoid doing such things ever again. Then you can build trust with someone else.

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  • Do yourself a favour and never talk to him again. I gaurentee you he will not change. This guy does not care about you so I strongly suggest you avoid him for the rest of your life. Straight after the cheating you should have cut all ties.

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    • I know he doesn't care, but I wanted to fix this. I didn't want to lose someone that's important to me and I messed up, but people make mistakes and I learned from them, and all I wanted was a chance

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    • I'm glad that someone can see that I do really care. Well I responded to his text and told him to think about it however he did not reply😢 I always get afraid if I leave it, he will never come back and then it's my fault and I end up blaming myself. I have done more than enough to make amends and he just isn't ready to listen, I don't know what else to do. If he didn't reply to my text then he will never come back

    • Honestly, he is doing you a favour by not replying. Like I said earlier, he won't change and he'll keep you in a submissive state. Better to be free of him than to suffer

  • he really has no reason to be like that. you may have had pics on your phone but he cheated on you. don't work on yourself for him. do it for yourself. you made mistakes but don't be used by him. move on. new friendships and forget the past.

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    • I didn't work on myself for him or with intention of getting him back, I worked on myself for me and my future. I really wanted to give this a go and I just wanted to be civil... and no matter what I say or do I'm just not good enough even for a friendship. I've tried so damn hard, I explained every part of myself and he still doesn't believe that and perceives me as the old person I used to be and it really hurts. I don't know what to do or how to respond to hum

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    • but he has changed as well. seriously need to get other opinions on that text as I read you are sorry, desperate and want him back as a partner not just a friend. personally I'd walk away

    • If you think that was desperate then you should have saw me when we broke up🙄 I'm a lot stronger than I used to be, I really did work hard to get where I am. I am genuinely sorry, I have good intentions and the reason it sounds that way is because even to be his friend or worthy of his time I have to explain everything..

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