Can I get my ex back?

i was with him for 3 years, and it was a difficult relationship since my mother didn't approve of me having a boyfriend and I kept it secret. if you are wondering, we were in high school. anyway, we were great together until my extreme need to be the center of attention destroyed our relationship. he was working more to help pay the bills at home but I noticed he started to do that after me and him were having little problems in regards to not communicating well. so, I went online and started looking for the attention I wasn't getting from him. I never cheated on him, I just was talking to guys from far away states that I knew I would never meet for an ego boost since I was suffering from depression. one day last year, I met this guy online and me and him hit it off, and I finally broke up with my ex because I wanted "space". it was done on the phone and he sounded devastated. soon after, things between him seemed fine, and it felt like the break up never took place. later on in the year around September of last year (break up was like around June) I started making the moves to try to get him back, and then one day I went on Facebook and found that he was in a relationship with a girl that he told me was a friend that I would like. I was furious and sad, and I called him and begged him to take me back and he wasn't listening. eventually I got even more depressed and had to go to the psychiatric hospital because I just couldn't eat and I was thinking about suicide. part of me thought if I played the victim I would win him back but it was a lie. I guess he must of felt I should of been stronger than that. later after I left the hospital, we had a serious talk and he said that he felt obligated to speak to me because if he didn't, I might hurt myself, a burden for him that he doesn't want to have, which I understand. he said he wanted space, which I gave, and up until a few weeks ago, I initiated no contact since I was calling him incessantly and IM'ing and commenting his Facebook, which I deleted. I saw that the more I tried, the further he went away, and I was best of not making a ass of myself and fading into the background.

my question is, after all of this, can I still get him back? he has been with this girl since last October, and it looks like a rebound. for example, if I stop speaking to him for a week, they slow down communicating and then when I speak to him more he speaks to her more. every time they were going out (she lives 80 miles away from him and he works often so they probably see each other once a month) they took a lot of pictures, maybe in the hopes of getting me more sad. she is now the voice on his voice mail, something I never did. I want to know what's going on? I am taking my antidepressant medication to get better because I really was battling depression before him and he knows that but it got much worse after what he did. he told me I wasn't that great of a girlfriend which made me cry. if I keep no contact, do I have a chance?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Unfortunately, I'd say there is little chance. You've already made it known to him that you want him back and he hasn't made a move in that direction. In fact, it seems like he is sending you obvious signals that he's moved on by posting lots of pictures and putting her on his voicemail. He knows you will see and hear these things. Like you said, the more you try, the more he pulls away. Calling him and begging him will only make things worse. You may have to accept that it's really over and move on yourself. I know it hurts but it's not the end of the world. People often fall in love several times over the course of their lives. My advice is to get yourself well, and get on with living your life. It's not healthy to dwell on something that is causing you this much grief. Have fun and see other guys. Put him out of your mind as best you can. If he has a change of heart, he knows how to find you.

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    • Its very painful. his way of showing that he is moved on is to the point where the extreme amount of happiness is suspect to me. afterall, he apparently "fell in love" with her after 3 months. the last time I was on her Facebook (a few days back and I don't plan to check ever again) she had taken pictures of herself with various guys in compromising positions. I guess to get back at her he took a pic with a much older woman but I see the damage to his ego was already done.

    • I've already proven that I am a weak person. I've done everything I could possibly do wrong. I am ashamed and embarresed of myself. I guess I ruined any chance that was left.

    • Everyone makes mistakes in life. It's part of being human. Don't beat yourself up over it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • i don't really see a chance out of this. the more you bother him, the worse it will be sadly. yur just gonna have to stop talking to him and move on. he's happy with who he is with now, so you should be happy for him and find someone else for you who will give you the attention you need

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What Girls Said 2

  • i mean there's always hope...but he's been with her for almost a year, ur chances aren't that great anymore, I think he's moved on : (

    be strong, my ex of seven years just left me, its horrible but just remember there is a whole future ahead of you and there's a man out there that will make you forget he even exists.

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