Why did he randomly dump me after so long?

My boyfriend and I had been dating for a year and to be honest I did think we had a special connection and that our feelings were growing for one another, but I was not naive I didn't go over the top with feelings. He even said we had a special connection it was not just one sided. Recently he suddebly started being a bit distant, he kept saying it was because he was revising for exams and slightly rude to me and it was so confusing because he was telling me he knows that he should be treating me much better. I felt extremely underappreciated for being patient with him whilst he acted like an asshole. He then went to watch a movie with a friend that he knew I wanted to watch with him and adding that to the rude treatment I had enough and he said he needed space from me to think about himself but not to cheat on me. Three days later he is back and he then breaks up with me saying he can't see a future with me, but that he cares about me so much and he was crying to me which is something he has never done before, but he said most of the problems in the relationship were because of him but he is going through an identity crisis which could be contributing to this, but he acknowledged that I was a very good and loyal and beautiful girlfriend so none of this makes sense to me. I was extremely dignified about the breakup and said I hope he finds himself and that I won't try and force him to stay, but why is he thinking about the "future"? We're both 17 and I was just takinh each day as it comes. Or did he just break up because he wasn't thinking straight and will come back hopefully soon?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Something isn't right, clearly. What problems is he going through?

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    • I'm unsure, he was very vague about it I just know that they were personal ones but he was breaking down crying so he is obviously in a bad place with them. From your experience do you think he will come back in around a month or never?

    • Maybe not even a month! People learn to deal with life's difficulties, and find resilience to overcome them
      Don't worry too much x

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • A person that isn't sure about what He or She really desires isn't really interested in their heart to have it at all. Hun, your boyfriend doesn't really love you in a romantic way. Move on before it gets worse down the road.

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  • Yea his lines are bullshit. The dude was cheating. He didn't go with a friend, he tried another girl out. His meanness for no reason comes from his guilt.

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  • well i think he is into someone else, wish you good luck.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I think so far he's lying to you. It's very clear that he no longer wanted to take things seriously with you and it's not getting anywhere that he didn't want to the relationship to go. Nobody just dump you for no reason, and never bothered to talk this over with you PRIOR to the excuse he gave you. I believe like what everybody else said so far is that he was cheating on you with somebody else; which is that so-called friend of his. Whether they did the deed or not is debatable. But no doubt that's what it is.

    He can't see a future with you because he never did. You wasted a whole year with somebody who has a problem with self. "I hope he finds himself" Are you kidding me! Girl, listen to me very closely. Any guy or person who tells you that they need to go find themselves are an idiot. They don't need to go find themselves, their right in front of you. He played you. I'm sorry to say it. But it's true. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have stayed. He didn't. You were just a convenience or in this case an experience. Not somebody who he can be with long term.

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  • It sounds like he's cheating with his "friend" and head lying. I'd confront him then maybe leave his ass

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  • either he was tired of you or
    cheated

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  • He probably found another girl. :/

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  • I've gone through this and honestly it's so much better and easier to end it and cut all ties with him. You don't want to hurt you self in the future as I did in believing you will get back with him. Push on through and move on

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  • he could be going through something else, like maybe family problems? college? etc. Sometimes guys feel so bad for something that something good like you, made have him feel like he didn't deserve you. I say give him some space, and also give yourself a break.

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    • Yeah, I actually agree with this opinion the most I think. Do you think he will come back after he has had sufficient space?, because genuinely we did have quite a close bond

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