A cheating and lying ex girlfriend: to revenge or not to revenge?

I dated a beautiful woman for two years. It was a long distance relationship, so it was difficult, but we did our best. About two years into it, she went on a trip without me to teach a yoga workshop. While gone, she accepted a friend's offer to meet another guy. They hooked up. They started dating, she even introduced the other dude to her family. All of this while dating me "exclusively." While hooking up with him behind my back, she was texting me, calling me, telling me she loved me everyday. I thought all was well. She was having sex with him, too. Cold.

I didn't find out until two years later. I was livid. She lied over and over, so damn much, right to my face for years. But it all came out when I saw some texts and emails. We broke up and I started dating someone else who is amazing. Loyal and loving.

The cheating ex also cheated on her ex husband several times, but he never found out. I am angry with the idea that she still has this sweet, innocent image, though she is a serial cheater. Should I just leave it alone, or should I give her some justice? I am thinking about sending her ex husband a letter, telling him about her cheating. It is relevant because he still supports her financially and is being played by her still. I can also start telling our friends what she did. So far, I've walked the high road and haven't said much. Thoughts? Feels like she deserves some karma.
Thanks for all the feedback! It was really helpful. I will just let her be. After I posted this question, I re-read an old email she sent. In it she talked about how sad she was and how she was crying everyday because we didn't have a future together anymore. And though she started seeing someone else, she still pines for me and regrets everything she did. I guess I believe her, and maybe her regret is enough punishment.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's fuckin hard... I feel if you need to talk about it, then talk about it. But i would suggest not slagging her off for the sake of slagging her off, no matter how tempting it is. She will get hers in due time.
    BUT I think if it's bothering you this much, that talking and venting about it to a friend or two is a solid idea.

    It is not your responsibility to warn her ex about her unethical ways. I'm not one for seeking revenge, I feel that the earth will provide discomfort in equal amounts for those who dish it out.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Karma and effect. It will come back on her in due time. It's not on you to be judge and procecutor. You have your own amazing and loyal girlfriend.
    Drop it and leave it alone


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • Mate if you loved her and you care for her just respect the break up like a man and move on and who knows she might see a new light and come back

  • I'm with trooper 88 o this one. Once a cheater, always a cheater... It won't matter if you say anything or not.

  • So what... she's your EX.. ancient history... who cares what she says or does... you need to move on and not get caught in the drama.


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