Guys, Should I reach out to my ex?

We broke up a month ago and it was odd. I noticed a change right away. We had hung out two days before and that night was good, he even talked about how he mentions me every other sentence. We simply got each other and so many levels. Yet, the change happened when I didn't hear from him for most of the day, it wasn't that big of a deal but it was noticed. Few days later he went on a rant out of no where about people working jobs they hate and how he didn't understand why they'd do something they didn't enjoy. Couple days later I asked if he was okay, he said fine and asked why I asked. I told him it's just been a weird vibe, he then sent me a text on the things stressing him out; between his parents and school. I tried to help but it didn't get far. A week later we had a phone call talking about what was happening. He said he hadn't noticed that he was growing distant. Then proceeded to say he wasn't sure if we wanted to emotionally invest in the relationship be people break up in college and that was worrying him. We both said we didn't want to break up but I was still upset. He called back said he wanted to make it work. However, I still barely heard from him and was always left on read; when I did hear from him he was always pessimistic and complaining or stressed. We went to a concert together and things seemed fine and normal except he asked me if i wanted him to pick me up and I was upset because I simply assumed we'd go together since he asked me. Once again I didn't hear from him and I sent a long text at 5 am about how it felt like the relationship was fading away. He responded that he'd put more effort. I then hadn't heard from him for days after that, I knew he'd be busy with family stuff but I couldn't help but feel forgotten. He then finally texted me and things seemed okay and he said he'd text me later but never did. I reached out about prom details and he was rude in his response.

Updates:
He told me he didn't want to go because he wouldn't know anyone. I then asked if he wanted the relationship and he said not really. Then became unusually short in saying he just wanted the title of being in a relationship and that he doesn't know why he's grown distant but said it would only get worse with time if the relationship continued. He apologized and I responded. I told him that it hurt that he was prolonging it so long and said how I really do like him and it sucks.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He may genuinely be distressed over other events or he may have met someone else who he wants to pursue. Sometimes, people will act like this hoping to antagonize you into initiating a break up so that they don't need to deal with the guilt of breaking up with you.

    Tell him you won't bother him again and you will wait for him to call when he wants to see you, but if you don't hear from him in the next 2 weeks, you will assume that he does not want to be together with you any more. I would bet that you won't hear from him.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I guess his mind just goes places. At one moment he feels one way and then another he feels another way. If you feel like it's worth then yes reach out to him. But if it's just going to be negative and dysfunctional then there's no need to reach out to him. People change, sometimes you might just have to accept that.

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  • From the last bit you said there it seems he doesn't actually like you that much - or at least he wants to give that impression. If I were you I would try and find out his real feelings towards you and then make the best decision for your future and happiness.

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  • Well the way I see it you have 2 options teach him to love you or let him come to his senses of how much his life is better with you you 2 dating... Either way you win... I suggest the second one because time apart helps

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  • Never fall back to exes.

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  • Im sorry you have been neglected by your ex, if you want him and truly love him then i say go for it. Some guys are just assholes who are scared of getting cheated on or so forth. i struggle with trust, so i know what you've been feeling. All you need to do is ask yourself 3 basic questions. Do you want him? Does he want you? and if so, how will you make it work? i send my condolences, im very sorry.

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  • Move on x

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  • go for it as a guy with being on the receiving end it's probably something that gradually happened over the period of time you both spent apart

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  • Never get back together with anyone you date. If he hurt you before, you'll only face a similar past, but three times harder.

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  • why would you want to go back with and Ex. they are and Ex for a reason

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  • He's afraid of commitment you gotta let him come too you if anything is gonna happen

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  • simply u deserve a better guy

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  • YOU DON'T KNOW THE GOLDEN RULE

    1. FORGOT YOUR EXES

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  • I would not get back with anyone who you break up with and change automatically. He is probably just trying to act different and like he cares in the hope of tricking you back into a relationship. Usually when this happens (which is pretty much what is happening with my parents) the one who "changes" will return back to their old ways once they know that they can get what they want that easily.

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