How do you cope with liking an emotionally unavailable man? How can / should I be there for him?

I'm romantically interested in a guy friend who recently went through a break up involving kids. I know he's not ready for a relationship right now and I'm not pushing the issue. I'm just trying to be there for him. The issue is that he's being very closed off and distant. I only see him once or twice a week and sometimes he's happy to see me and happy to talk to me. Other times he'll act very distant and won't really talk to me at all. I'm trying to be compassionate and understanding while giving him his space, but still trying to be there. It's exhausting though.

Friends who know that I like him romantically keep telling me to just move on and forget about him. They feel he's playing games and that I'll only get hurt in the long run. I appreciate their concern and have been thinking about taking a break from him, but walking away right now doesn't feel right to me. Sometimes staying around him doesn't feel right either. I guess I'm probably just as confused as he is.

Any thoughts? What else can I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just continue to do what you're doing, be there. Have patients!!! He needs time to process all this and deal with it on his own. You just being around and not pressuring him will mean the world to him most likely. As your relationship progresses and as he gets closer to you, he'll naturally open up and communicate more (most likely anyway). You can't expect it to happen overnight though, especially with guys. We don't like to talk and share feelings like women do. We handle things very differently when it comes to feelings. So bottom line, patients on your part, and don't pressure him. Having said that, also guard your feelings so you don't get hurt. Keep your head and don't rely on your emotions to guide you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's testing you by pushing you away to see if you will leave him. It's an exhausting mind game you have to decide for yourself if he is worth the b*******

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    • I do believe he is worth it IF he's acting this way out of fear. Does that make sense? I mean if he fears I'll leave him ( after his breakup ) and he's just trying to make sure I won't before he commits to anything, I can understand that. I just don't know how long I'll be willing to put up with it emotionally. I do like him a lot and want to be there for him, but at some point I'll have to back away as painful as it may be.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Don't let the unknown eat away at you. Find a way to tell him, and leave the next step for him to decide. You would have the ability to say you gave it a shot, or the satisfaction of having him as more than a friend.

    Just my opinion.

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  • Your caught up in your own feelings towards him and your about to get caught up into lustful drama if you don't distance yourself. I women recommend chatting from distance and remind him that you care but be cautious.

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  • just ask him about why he is being distant and try him to open up

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  • Seems like your trying to make something work that's not there.

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  • You really should just leave that man alone.

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  • Women confuse the hell out of me. How the hell can you even begin to reason with women if this is the shit they think about

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What Girls Said 0

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