My wife of 16 years had an affair with a coworker?

I caught them on date. We separated for over a year. During that year she said she wanted a divorce and that it was over. She continued to see HIM and I became depressed and suicidel. I met a woman at work and we quickly became friends. We had so much in common and did everything together. She wouldn't leave my side when I was suicidal but wife refused to talk to me. This woman that I met made me feel alive again. We have so much in common and such great chemistry. After about 15 months I had finally allowed myself to move on from my wife and get on with my life. The woman I met from work and I made plans to move in together when suddenly my wife had a change of heart. My wife and have 3 kids and I felt I owed it to my marriage and my children to go home. My wife insisted I quit my job because of HER so I did. It's been a year but and all I do is miss the woman from work. I'm not happy. My wife and I have never shared the same interests we married because we got pregnant. We are parents nothing more. Sure we share a laugh but we don't go out together, she doesn't like sports I love sports I mean we do nothing together. Most evening she's in the bedroom watching cooking shows and I'm in the living room doing my thing. I feel she thinks this is ok because her parents have the same type of marriage. Hell I've never seen her parents kiss or hold hands in the 20 years I've known them. I guess having met the women from work and feeling that chemistry and love I'm asking if it's selfish of me as parent to leave my children's mother to be happy with someone else?
Updates:
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Why after all that's been said am I defensive of her?
My wife of 16 years had an affair with a coworker?
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