I still care about my ex?

Its been 2 months since we broke up. It was a messy breakup but we talked through it a month later and came to good terms. This sounds stupid but I have him on instagram and when I see him like other girls' pictures it still hurts me. Its hurts to know that he got over me so quick and doesn't care about me in the same way while I still struggle and still like him. I think this is taking a toll on my self-esteem, and I keep thinking that maybe I wasn't good enough.

Whats the best way to get through this? I dont want to do this anymore?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not stupid at all, it's completely normal. You may look at things from the outside and think he's gotten over you, but you don't know if that's the case. When I went through my last breakup, within a week I had already slept with another girl and started talking to 2 others, it may have seemed from the outside that I'd gotten over it to, I put up a confident front and acted like I didn't care like most guys do. But inside I had a cutting pain inside me the whole time. None of the other girls I saw I actually felt any connection to, in fact being with them just made me feel worse afterwards. It took me almost a year to get over my last breakup fully.

    So he could be hurting, you don't know. But don't worry about it either. Don't ever tell yourself that you're not good enough, sure you might not be the right one for some people, but that doesn't mean you're not 'good enough'. You could be plenty of other guy's dream girl, it's about finding people that are the right people, not making the wrong people think you're the right one. So remember that, focus on yourself, your interests, music you like, do things you enjoy and just takes things as they come. And just remember it's ok to feel sad about things every now and then, that's normal.

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    • You're right I can never know what he's feeling but it shouldn't matter to me anymore. Thank you for this! For the past month I've been feeling like I'm over it and then I saw that and it felt like I was back at square one!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Looks can be deceiving and social media can tempt you into making your own conclusions about his life. I know it might be a hard thing to do but when you're ready, you might just want to unfollow him / take a break from all social media- you'll be missing out on your own life if you're constantly spectating his. At the end of the day, write all your feelings about him, you, life, etc. everyday for 60 or so days in a diary or private blog. At times when I felt like I was going nowhere, it was nice to have a reference point of where I started / when things ended. Do something new that you've always wanted to do-focus on rediscovering yourself. No one knows how to treat you the way you want or care about you the way you need besides you. Right now is a good time to do that. Be patient with yourself.

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    • I feel like every time I see his instagram activity I end up back at square one! I think you're right, I need to take a break from social media. I keep comparing my self to the girls he likes but I need to go out there and live my own life.. thank you for this!

What Guys Said 3

What Girls Said 1

  • It's pretty normal. It hurts because he was yours and even though you are broken up and now on good terms it still doesn't feel right that he's doing this. It's hard to see. I think that's just human nature. Start going out and making yourself busy. I would try and not deal with him as much because it's just going to hurt more to see him with someone else.

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    • I can't stand thinking about him with someone else either... :( I know its over we haven't been talking and in no contact so instagram has been the last string I've been holding onto. You're right, I need to make myself more busy and focus on myself

    • It does suck! You will feel better in the long run. I've been through it as well.

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