A best friend in love dilemma?

Hey you guys so I'll make this short and please provide me with good suggestions from your experiences or stories you heard..

I have a guy best friend of 9-10 years, he had a crush on me from day 1. I see him no more than a brother you gonna say I'm selfish but I really really tried for years to like him back but I failed I just can't see him as my husband/boyfriend there's no spark no attraction of any sort. I tried my hardest.

I've always known but last year or 2 years ago he confited that he is extremely and deeply in love with me and it's getting worse.. he even yesterday asked me out I didn't respond. I really want to tell him id shatter his heart to pieces and he's been always there for me so to be the source of pain is just taunting.

Thank you for reading and looking forward to see your help.


0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't really have a choice in this. You can't ignore facing him and letting him know you love having him as a friend, but any more than that isn't going to happen. You could tell him you didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him this before because you felt he would stop feeling like he did/does. Tell him you are sorry if you are hurting him, but that you just don't have feelings for him in a romantic way. Make sure you tell him that it's nothing personal, just that we don't get a romantic interest in everybody. Don't tell him you tried to like him. That may make him mad. The bottom line is that you allowed him to feel this way and to want you with the hope that you would come around to what he wants. Every decision has consequences and in this case, yours are no fun, but something you must do. Don't make him aware by ignoring him. That's cruel and, I assume, you don't want to be that person. You need show that your friendship is something you want to continue. By ignoring him, you are saying nothing about him is important to you. He deserves to know and you must deal with whatever the outcome might be. Consider this one of many tough life lessons. There are many. I hope it goes well for you.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why has this gone on for so long? If you're not interested in a relationship then tell him and make it clear.
    You value his friendship, and you'd love to remain that way. Keep the boundary there and finish it

    1|0
    0|0
    • How do I say it i don't know how I'd articulate myself especially that I've tried so many times but he keeps trying and bringing it up and kinda begging

    • Show All
    • Should I reply to his texts or ignore them until he is calm? He's asking questions like why don't u like me, and what m was it me?

    • I'd probably just give him one to clarify your feelings, but then
      "I understand this has hurt you which wasn't my intention, but feel that I needed to be clear about where I stand as you've told me you want more"

      Be compassionate and kind, but not caving into his needs as it won't help in the long run if you're not interested in a relationship

What Guys Said 4

  • 1. At this point, there is no way to tell him that will not be traumatic.

    2. Although it will be traumatic, it is very unlikely that the news will cause him to commit suicide.

    3. "John, I've done everything I could do to try to develop feelings for you but it just hasn't happened. If I had those feelings for you, us being together would be perfect. . . but I don't. Would you want me to lie and pretend to have feelings when I don't?"

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think you just got to brozone him.
    and say, "You were always like a good brother to me, and i still see you as a good brother."

    0|0
    1|0
  • By the time, I saw your question, you had already made the move. All I can say is, it's a wise move. You have to be firm. He has to get wiser and if he cannot control it, he needs to distance himself.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You have to tell him

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • Not an easy job, but be honest with him. And when you tell him, talk in the "I" form. Its expresses your feelings without being offensive. He will feel pain, but its up to him to decide then how he wants to continue with your friendship.

    1|0
    0|0
Loading... ;