I let him get away with everything?

like the "question" say I let my boyfriend off with almost everything he does... like little things... what I want to know when is it OK to be mad at him with out him thinking I'm overreacting? and when do I *have* to be mad at him...

sorry about the stupid question I'm just feeling like a softie with him

Updates:
for example not calling me for a couple of days... things like that

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you have a good reason to be mad, you should be.

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    • Whats a good reason? sorry I know its a really stupid question

    • He cheated on you, he doesn't listen, he spends more time with the guys then you. Stuff like that.

    • Whhat do guys think is stupid reasons to be mad at him?? sorry if I'm driving you crazy..

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • When is it a good time to let him know you're mad?

    When you're mad!

    There's no reason to hold back if you are p*ssed off at him.

    Holding back will just let things build up until they completely blow up!

    Always say what is on your mind.

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  • Huh? I certainly would go a couple of days without calling a girlfriend, especially if we've been together less than a year...it probably wouldn't work out between me and you : p

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  • Can you give us some examples of what you "let him get away with"?

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  • if not calling you for a couple days is a prime example, then your just looking for reasons to be mad. Not every guy will be perfect, no matter who it is, there will be "little" things that they do that you don't like...you have to learn to live with it.

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What Girls Said 9

  • So I'm about to rant for a second but I think it is pertinent. When guys first want to be with you they say thinks like whatever you want baby. And then when you keep going out they stop saying that and expect you to stop asking for what you want. Guys become selfish but then they say the girl is all selfish by getting mad, angry, and asking for you to do certain things. I mean, you did those things in the beginning so you are quite capable. Your mindset is just oh I have her now so it doesn't matter anymore. wrong, wrong, wrong.

    I hate the whole dating game even though I'm playing it right now.

    Pertinent? Not pertinent?

    Btw, to answer your question, it depends what guy you are going out with. I would get mad about that definitely, but like I said, some guys can't handle a woman's anger. so yeah choose your battles wisely and play the game like he is :)

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  • pick your battles wisely...

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  • If YOU think you should get mad because it hurts you...then you have every right to get mad. You can't tell yourself you're not mad when you really are. I make sure he knows something upsets me.

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  • i have the same problem with the guy I like, who also happens to be my best friend. I let him get away with anything. then, he gets mad at me all the time. what I decided to do, was the next time I got mad at him, I let him know and got really mad. he ended up appologizing to me for getting away with everything.

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  • if you have a reason that you need to be mad at him for. if he said he would call you and didn't you have the right to be annoyed. if he cheated on you then you should be really mad. don't let him get off if you don't feel like he should. its all about what you feel. if you feel annoyed or mad or frustrated you have to let him know. let yourself feel what you feel. don't comprimise your feelings just because you love him

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  • well I don't think you should be mad at all!you can just explain to him what is the think that he does wrong and discuss it with him don't you EVER keep it for yourself!you should communicate!but if you see that he doesn't listen to you then you should really be mad cause you did approach him with your best way... ;)

    try it I think it'll work!

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  • You need to decide what you want, what you think is reasonable, what works for you. Then, you need to stick to it. But, it's not all about you just getting mad at him. Sure, get mad, but if you feel he is not doing something you want, and he doesn't feel it is necessary, you have a bigger problem than what your standards are. You have a problem where you two don't match up.

    Why do I mention that? Because one person's reasonable is another person's overreacting, and this is a common theme in relationships. You may be very disappointed and mad that he doesn't call you for a couple of days. He, obviously, thought it was no big deal or he wouldn't have done it. So, to him, you will be overreacting to get mad about that.

    It is better to know what you want and then find and effective way of communicating it. For instance, you will sound so much more powerful if you are actually calm and able to talk to someone about what you want without losing your cool or apologizing about it either. So, if you can sit down with your guy at a time you feel good, and tell him you would like to have him call you more often and not go a day without talking, that should give him enough detail to understand what you want. If he says it doesn't work for him, listen to what he has to say, but honestly, calling regularly doesn't sound hard to do, as long as you are not expecting 30 minute sessions detailing everything you did that day. I think a quick hello, how are you babe is do-able and if he doesn't he may not be the guy for you.

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    • Yes exactly ..some people do not call & are fine with it. With Others it is a major deal.

      he is not actually dong anything horrible, he is just doing something you do not like..

      i wold instead of be mad- which will verge on a tantrum, unless he is communicating with you- just have a talk & decide what matters what does not what is negotiable & what you must have or cannot accept.

      getting mad will not solve what you are dealing with-- it is a conflict of interests NOT simply bad behavior :)

  • dont put rules on everything and be so restrictive. if something he does makes you mad, then you have the right to be mad. when you start questioning yourself and asking is it ok to feel a certain way, is when you're not being authentic to yourself and to the relationship. remember, your needs and feelings are just as important as his.

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  • ohhh my god! we must b twins because I'm the exact same way! crazy! like you can tell he loves you but little things make you feel like he doest care right?!

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