I wanna be in his life but somehow he won't let me, what should I do?

I love this man so much, I just can't seem to unlove him, I am dead emotionally... it has been like this for the last 2 years, chasing him, having no contact at all then having contact again, chasing chasing chasing! He doesn't want me, I suppose he only wanted me for his own benefits (me giving him stuff) it came to the point where he didn't want to sleep with me but had no problem sleeping with other women, a very old (not a milf) lady included. Many things have happened between us.. I even threw a cellphone on his face because he was asking my friend to sleep with him IN FRONT OF ME. He needed to get 3 stitches, I apologized, he accepted my apology but he told me that he wants "our lifes to be seperate" I can't accept that though as I want him so much its killing me but I am also scarred to message him because i think that a) he'll block me on fb (he has blocked my nr on whatsapp) or b) he won't reply like he did last time when I asked him how his forehead was (hence the cellphone I threw). What should I do?
I wanna be in his life but somehow he won't let me, what should I do?
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