Is depression/being lost in life a real reason to breakup with someone but have no answers, or is it an excuse?

My boyfriend of two years recently dumped me saying he's been depressed and wants to get help and that he's unsure about everything in his life so dumping me was the first change to get him to make changes in life. He had been drinking more on and off and hasn't liked his work environment or being far from family for a long time and he mentioned getting really down in the winter before we started dating. I always figured moving to his hometown or closer would help and was willing to make that happen in the next year. I can understand to an extent, but I can't move on because he can't give me any answers on if we are just on a break or forever done, if he's moving home for good or a short time, or when if at all. We still live together with the plan I take over our house when he goes home for a music festival soon. But he can't even tell me if he's taking all his stuff and gets angry when I ask any questions. Not many people know we broke up and he has his Facebook as in a relationship with me still. He still is drinking heavy and hanging with crappy people but says he can't change all at once and is being more responsible about not driving drunk and whatnot. Somedays he's super loving and normal and the next he is angry at the world and will stay somewhere else. He says he loves me and doesn't want to hurt me and be on good terms, but he can't worry about me if he's unsure and trying to fix himself. What do you think? Is this a legit reason, or am I wasting my time?

Updates:
The compassionate part of me wants to be there to help in any way I don't think depression is a joke but the other part of me is so tired. Tired of not getting any answers. Of the wishywashiness. I don't want to get used. So that's what I'm struggling with. The lines of loving him are starting to blur into uncertainty like he's a completely different man than I knew. If he does come back, a lot would have to change.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • When I was younger, I admit that I was guilty of using a similar excuse. I was lying to her and myself, I was really just discontent with the relationship and was reaching out for any reason to get out of it. I'm not proud of it, but its six years in the past and I've since matured. Short answer? I believe its an excuse.

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    • THank you for sharing that. I guess what's confusing to me is that he hasn't told many people including his 14 year old son who I really connect with and love or took down his Facebook to single if he wants out so bad. He even wants me to camp with him and son soon. I think his son deserves to know.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like he's unsure of the relationship. Or maybe he's unsure about himself and doesn't know how to make you happy? I would say just give him the time he needs and let him come to you when he's ready.. that is if you're willing to wait for him too.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • sure, he needs time to take care of himself before interacting with someone else

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  • excuses

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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like he may have outgrown the relationship and is emotionally in no man's land right now. It an excuse because he doesn't know how to tell you that his feelings might have changed. Difficult when you can't have a proper talk with him.

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  • Change the locks and when someone tells you how they are believe. You can't change people. He broke up with because he knew he would hurt you. Depression is no joke and it can be draining trying to uplift a person or help a person down a dark road.

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